Reni, this Bud's for you!
Today's post is dedicated to my friend of 13 years, Reni. Thanks to George Bush's senseless war in Iraq, the National Marine Fisheries Services experienced a $4 million budget cut and my homegirl Ren was left without a job! Well, I am sure Reni feels better at least knwoing that her unemployment will help protect the US from Iraq's weapons of mass destruction. Oh, wait a minute, there never were any. in fact, isn't it Iran that is building the nukes? Oh well, Iraq and Iran look so much alike perhaps Bush got the two confused.
Reni lives out of state but I went out and got drunk in her honor. Of course this was after one of my craigslist contacts showed up at my building. Remember the muscualr black man with the penis the size of a small child's arm? Well, it turned out the picutres he sent me were from 1985. I had no choice but to tell "Sanford" that I was NOT interested. I am not agist, but using fake or really old pictures is shady! After that fiasco I had a few shots of tequila, drunk dialed some people and went to Hydrate That bar is so fierce! DJ manny Lehman was spinning. At the end of the night I took a ride home with some drunk guy. If you guys have ever seen "40 Year Old Virgin", it was just like his ride home with the drunk girl, minus the vomit of course. This probably wans't the smartest thing to do, but I made him stay on city streets and I saved $17 in taxi cab fare! And best of all, I didn't even have to have sex with him! I hate having to exchange sexual favors for a ride home.