Thursday, October 06, 2005

"My mother is a fucking bitch!"

Isn't funny the things you come across when you move that you didn't even remember you had? While I was moving I found a journal/diary that I used to write in when I was 11. I was cracking up reading some of my entries. They were just so random and rather blunt! But I suppose that is what's so wonderful about being a kid. Kids say exactly what's on their mind without any concern of what others might think or say. I think most of us as adults lose this ability to be so completely blunt. For example:

"February 12th, 1991,
My mother is a fucking bitch. I hate her. Sadaam Huseein dumped oil in the ocean. Yesterday I got the new cassette by Pebbles, "Always".


Well, some of the entires were a bit longer with a little more detail, but they were funny nonetheless, although at times a bit disturbing. I often forget about the miserable childhood I had, which is probably a good thing since it means I have been able to move on. i can't stand adults who continually blame their bad decisions in life on what happened to them as a kid. I'm sorry, but once a person turns 18 they have the ability to take full control of their destiny. There are no excuses.

There were also some cool entries about my first year in highschool and about how I made friends with a really cool girl named Reni. Who would have thought 11 years later she would still be one of my closest friends.

I find it ironic though, that much what I wrote about my mother still holds true....kind of. I don't hate her or thinks she's a bitch, but I am quite indifferent to our relationship and I think I only stay in touch with her out of sympathy/pity. In fact, to say we have a relationship is a joke. We barely talk and when we do it's like two strangers making small talk on the train. The worst part I suppose is that I feel bad, not because of the realtionship, but simply because I don't care. I think the lack of emotion or complete indifference is probably worse than if I actually did say I hated her. At least hatred means you care. I feel nothing, to be quite honest.

Anyhoo, moving on to more important things......I am loving the new apartment and building! Hot damn my building is loaded with BEEFARONI! Grrr...I was jsut at the grocery store and just about came in my pants when this hot motherfucker that looked like a middle eastern Mario Lopez was checking out in front of me. I am afraid I am going to turn into a Presidential Towers whore! oooh, I just saw my neighbor today too. Muscular, tall, and blonde. Yummy.

I think I need to have a moment with one of my favorite Kristen Bjorn films now.........

6 Comments:

Blogger bomitoni said...

I just love the fact that not only did u include how ur mother is a bitch, but that pebbles was mentioned in the same entry! it sucks that u have such an indifferent relationship w/ ur mom. but you can't force things. i am the same way w/ my older sisters. i only talk to them once a year if that. oh well.

i need to come over more often sista m! hmm...has kristen bjorn done a middle eastern gay porn yet??? we need to recommend that to him. those men are hot!!!!

2:40 PM  
Blogger Chicago_Sexbox said...

well, there are plenty of Indian hotties in my building, we can start recruiting! lol

4:50 PM  
Blogger dave said...

let me know when you have a nice selection, then i'll drop by and visit you

5:02 PM  
Blogger YoNoTePidoLaLuna said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:07 AM  
Blogger YoNoTePidoLaLuna said...

Indian hotties!!! Oh my...I would be a total slut!

Oh you..I I find it funny that your 12 year old mindset is still the same as your 27 year old mindset. You still think your Mother is a fucking bitch. I know you say you've let it all go and don't care...but if that were true you wouldn't repeat all this and cringe when seeing her. Oh well. Just remember, whatever fuckign cunt she was and whatever mental abuse she inflicted..remember that it has only made you the rigid and unabashed person you are today. Look around you, you've won the battle. No need to keep holding on to the trauma. I'm sure it's easier said than done though.

2:12 PM  
Blogger Chicago_Sexbox said...

tee hee, i knew you post something. seriosuly, i never think about the woman. it's just so happend that i found this journal and it brought back alot of memories, some good like the one abotu Pebbles, and some bad, like abotu my mom (oh, and the rest of my family but whatever)

i know you are trying to be a good friend and i appreciate that. it shows you care. but trust me, i have moved on. but it's not a crime to reminisce on the good or bad every now and then :) it makes us appreciate the present more.

5:09 PM  

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