In the midst of rising gasoline prices, the brink of a national recession, political unrest in the Middle East and AIDS destroying the entire continent of Africa, I would like to call attention to a matter even far more tragic and pertinent to the world's future (at least from the perspective of a self absorbed superficial gay man, LOL)
In particular, I would like to talk aboutKylie Minogue. What went wrong Kylie? Now, I will admit I have always given the "Australian Madonna" a hard time since her sister Dannii is the only Minogue that matters in my eyes, BUT I will not deny the immense international success this little Aussie diva has had these past 20 years despite remaining fairly unknown in the US. After poor brave Kylie battled and defeated cancer she returned.......looking horribly distorted. I know chemotherapy can make a person lose their hair, but how does it explain the freakishly swollen lips, new cheeks, an expresionless face, bad wigs and a scary wardrobe? I will tell you how that happens: Mix one part too much collagen, 20 parts botox, 2 parts facial implants and 1 part William Baker.
I love Kylie's comeback album, X but let's face it, it's flopping and Kylie sure isn't helping matters with embarrassing promotional performances like this:
or even tackier music videos like this:
I mean seriously, even Dannii's last video looked like a fucking Quentin Tarentino production compared to Kylie's "home shopping network" video. On a similar note, hey Kylie, Janet Jackson called. She wants her song back.
Kylie's "new" album was just released in the US and managed to sell a whopping 4,000 copies, debuting at #139. You go girl. Yo know, I really long for the days when Kylie was all cute and fierce and actually seemed to know what she was doing (or at least had the right people working for her to make sure she wasn't fucking up her career). Case in point:
You know, after watching the fall of Kylie, I truly have a new found respect for Mariah Carey, who was able to comeback after a VERY public mental meltdown. I mean, remember the TRL ice cream incident?