Friday, May 12, 2006

Wanking at Work

The other day I was working a double shift. I was rather stressed so I took a minute to relieve myself in the bathroom.

I masturbated at work!

Now, before some of you prudes start passing judgement, let me just say it is my fucking business what I do in the privacy of a single stall bathroom, so fuck off! The fat asshole that always shits up a storm, leaving smears of fecal matter on the toilet seat or the bulimic bitch who spews her puke chunks all over and doesn't clean them up are far worse than me wanking off into a tissue. THOSE people are the sick and rude ones.

Let me tell you though, I returned to work so very relaxed and with my mind completely clear. The rest of my shift just zoomed by. It was awesome!

It's just a shame that the extent of my sexual activity lately is masturbation. My sex life has been rather sporadic these past two years. I go months without any kind of fun. One thing I learned in my Interpersonal Communications course this past semester is that studies show human beings physically NEED to experience intimacy and human touch on a regular basis. Without it we become physically and mentally ill. I totally agree. It's ironic how so many people think sex is "bad" and "dirty". I suppose such negative beliefs stem from their own personal issues that they associate with sex (ie. a history of having been molested, image issues, lack of self esteem, suicidal thoughts, or just a bad relationship). Lucklily none of those apply to me and I have always had a positive toward attitude towards anykind of human intimacy and/or sex.

I once was 100% celibate for 2 years while living in Milwaukee and let me say I was a bitter bitch after those two years! Never again! Unfortuantely though, my busy life now has forced me to live like a monk again. I need to find a cute boy soon, but more improtantly I need to find some time! Catholic priest are getting more booty than I do! I am NOT in a committed relationship and need to take advantage of my single status while I can! lol


Blogger Chargenda said...

i work-jerk all the time.

2:23 PM  
Blogger Chicago_Sexbox said...

Work jerk????? Omigod! I am totally stealing that! you are too fierce!!!! LMAO!!

3:33 PM  
Blogger YoNoTePidoLaLuna said...

Wow, can't say I ever did that. I've done that at school though. I know what u mean about being stressed out and masturbating. It clears your mind. "Sex can wait, masturbate!".

6:29 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

It seems that the chic thing to do these days is to protest in the streets demanding rights for whatever we think we should be able to do, so perhaps we should organize a rally downtown for those of us who demand the right to masturbate at work! Too long have masturbators been forced to sneak into cramped stalls and jerk off in fear of reprisal from puritanical bosses! Let us come out into the open, pull down our zippers, and say, "WE LIKE TO MASTURBATE!" Think it would work?

Actually, I do a lot of my work from a home office, so I can jerk off whenever I want to, usually three or four times a day. And my employees wonder why I'm always so agreeable :)

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, and I thought i was sick,...i jerk off all the time while at work...hahaha..

10:23 PM  

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