Street Smarts and Sharts

Wow, what a weekend. I am currently at work doing a double shift after only sleeping 3 hours. How the hell did I do this all of the time when I was 23? Jesus Christ! I am so thankful right now for the careless coworker who left behind an unopened can of Red Bull in the break room. I think I would have lapsed into a coma by now otherwise.

I was suppose to have attended the Moenia/Alejandra Guzman concert last night with Jorgillo at the Aragon Ballroom. Neither one of us had purchased our tickets in advanced. We figured we could pay at the door. Unfortunately we didn't anticipate the ticket prices to be jacked up an extra $20 so at the last minute we said fuck it and went bar hopping. Personally, it was a blessing in disguise for me. My digestive tract has been battling some nasty quesadillas I ate on Thursday. I went from constipated, to gassy, to hershey squirts, to more gassy and finally today to just the full blown shits. Yuck. I am never having cheese quesadillas at Hamburger Mary's again cuz let me tell you it is not cute when you shart in the middle of a bar surrounded by hot men. Thank god for single person private bathrooms! LOL!

Well, the end of Saturday night took a slightly scarier turn. Ironically the week before my lesbian friend came to the city and commented on how I constantly look over my shoulder when I am walking. I explained to her that in a big city like Chicago crime is everyhwhere, even in the good areas. It's good to have some "street smarts" and always be aware of your surroundings. Well, my "street smarts" came in handy last night when leaving a bar in Uptown, an area in Chicago known for being a bit shady. I left the bar by myself and decided it would be a good idea to catch a cab a block away on a more deserted street (yes, a stupid idea at 2AM). Well, even in my druken stupor I was keeping an eye out for any potential beefaroni and/or potential muggers. Well, I immediately noticed to scary looking individuals start to rapidly approach me from across the street. I say scary because they were both carrying those large sticks that police officers use. Is it possible they were friendly flok merely taking a late night stroll? Yes, it could have been but my gut instinct told me to fucking run...fast! So before the even reached the street I ran like a little bitch back to the bar. Thank god I wasn't wearing heels! I mean, I can just imagine falling like on of those dumb bitches in horror movies when the villain is approaching.

Well, needless to say I escaped any harm and am thankful that I am NOT oblivious to my surroundings, even when I am fucking wasted. I am also thankful that am addicted to the treadmill at the gym so I can run for cover when necessary. Wow, and here i thought my treadmill time was just a lame excuse to watch "I Love New York"!