You Must Not Know 'Bout Me (To the left, to the left)

I really have a great group of friends. However there are times when I just can't help but wonder if they are on crack or have lost complete touch with reality or simply just don't pay any attention to what I say. Now, I am not going to say I never ask for advice. This is not true, but there are plenty of times I DON'T ask for advice, yet someone is more than willing to give an unsolicited piece of their mind. I really can't complain. I am sure I do the same thing. What I am complaining about are friends who give me advice about a situation when they really are not ones to be talking. For example, let's say I hve a drug problem (although I suspect some of my friends already think this is the case, damn that crystal meth/gay male stereotype!) and my friend Whitney Houston comes to me one day and tries to tell me how I should quit. I mean, I appreciate the kind gesture, but come on, do I really need a crack whore telling my how to manage my own recreational drug use? I am equally annoyed by friends who seem to have this twisted idea of who I am and regardless of what I am telling them, their advice always seems to reflect that view. For example, let's say I was friends with Mariah Carey during her "crazy period" (2001-2003). Now, Mimi tends to think I am a scatterbrain, needy, and high maintenance individual who desperately needs outside guidance. She never tells me this outright but her advice and comments are highly suggestive of this. I can't help but shake my head in frustration because it is quite obvious I am the complete opposite of this. Nevertheless, I realize Mimi, as she strips on TRL with an ice cream truck, is only doing what she thinks is best.

The moral of this story: Unsolicited advice from some individuals should sometimes just be ignored. They might mean well but perhaps are not in the position to be even handing out advice to a cat.