The ladies who work first shift at my job find a reason to have a staff party for just about anything. Sure, there are the obvious party occasions like birthdays, but then there are the not so obvious. In the past four years I have witnessed pot luck celebrations commemorating job anniversaries, new employees, current employees' last days, new computer systems, new lab instruments, holidays, and even a mini-bridal shower. Regardless of the event, the routine never changes. Tacky banners, plastic table cloths, sporks and dixie cups are everywhere. Oh, and the menu rarely varies from the usual gross egg rolls, generic diet pop, some sort of "salad" which looks more like regurgitated egg rolls, brownies from Jewel, and about 20 gallons of ice cream to properly ensure no one leaves without slipping into a hyperglycemic coma.
I rarely take part in these festivities because I work the evening shift. However, I must say the most recent pot luck was the most disturbing. This time it wasn't a birthday or a new computer program. No, this time the reason for the pot luck was a coworkers recent death from a massive stroke. Yippe! Now who wants some cake?
Hmmmm.....the whole thing seems just a bit morbid if you ask me. So whether you celebrating 10 years of working here or you fucking croak because an artery in your brain fucking exploded, you can rest assure that as soon as the news makes its way to the department there will be a sign up sheet for the next pot luck!
I'll be sure to bring the sporks next time.