Bring My SexyBack
At the beginning of every new year it is my tradition to purchase a brand new calendar. I wait until after the new year because that's when all of the calendars get discounted. I'm cheap! Anyhoo, I generally choose aesthetically pleasing calendars featuring the images of scantily clad men. Occaisionally I feel even extra frisky and get one of those naughty pornographic calendars with fully aroused well endowed muscular men. There is nothing like starting every month to see a new fully erect penis dripping precum pointing in your direction.
When I went to buy a nudie calendar the other day I found myself less than impressed with the selection available. Mr. April's penis looked grossly mutated. I couldn't help but wonder if he had been circumsized by Freddy Krueger. Mr. July wasn't much better. Instead of arousing me, his curvy cock had me reminiscing Gonzo from "Sesame Street". In complete disgust I finally gave up and purchased a Far Side cartoon calendar. It's a very funny calendar that shall bring me much laughter these next 12 months but I couldn't help but think as I left the store, "Wow, my 'sexyback' has become more like 'sexygone'.
Is this what happens as I slowly approach the end of my 20's? I know I don't look a day over 14 but I am still worried. Since when did my libido decrease so dramatically? I am feeling so distraught right now I just might be forced to go out tonight and commit an act of random casual sex with a stranger. It's quite out of my character to do such things but ensuring my libido has not got up and left me like Jennifer Lopez's career is far more important than my morals!