Fuck you and your tip!
I have had a love/hate relationship with taxi cabs in Chicago ever since I moved here. I think most cab drivers are complete fuck head retards that can't drive for shit, but hey, when I am super drunk and need a ride at 3AM they are my only choice for transportation. I know I have blogged about issues with cabs before but I had an experience recently that was the final straw. It was during the day and I had only 10 minutes to get downtown. Normally I would just take the bus but I had just missed it. So I got a taxi. Well, he got on Lakeshore Drive and began to drive like immigration was chasing him. He was swerving in and out of lanes, barely missing several collisions with other cars. He then decided to get road rage and tried running another car off the drive. I was stricken with fear as this guy rolled down his window to scream obscenities in whatever third world country language he spoke.
We finally reached my destination. My cab ride was $9.85. I handed the motherfucker $10 and got out of the cab. He started yelling at me so I came back to the cab and got right into his face (I was furious at this point) and said "You drive like a fucking maniac. There is no way in hell you are getting a tip from me. Goodbye."
That felt so good. I have decided now is the time to officially avoid taxi cabs at all costs. I am sick of the fuckers.