Latin Gay Ghetto Queens

Within the gay community there exists a plethora of labels: bears, bottoms, tops, jocks, bois, twinks, queens, cubs, daddies, etc. The list could go on and on really. Some may argue that by further dividing a minority group is rather counter productive in terms of social acceptance, however I see things differently. The labels exist because gay people really do come in all shapes, sizes and colors. The labels simply highlight this reality of the gay community so that naive heterosexuals can see that we all aren't Cher loving, anti-carbohydrate, glittered label whores. I am not sure which label I could get, but I most definitely love me some Cher! Hey, what can I say? I believe in life after love.

Anyhoo, I wanted to take the time today to blog about Gay Ghetto Queens, in particular the Latin ones. The picture I posted above is not of a gay man (well, as far as I know) but is the perfect pictorial representation of the Latin Gay Ghetto Queen (LGGQ) in the Chicagoland area. For whatever reason these boys always look like anorexic Reggaeton singers. They'd rather wear Fubu than Prada, are obsessed with shaving all sorts of designs in their hair and eyebrows, and if you check out their myspace page, it is usually a hot tranny mess that takes 5 hours to load because they have cluttered it with too much Old English font, bling bling, 500 different reggaeton music videos, and a very grammatically poor "about me" profile that most likely includes the words: "fo'", realz","nikkaz" or "holla". Oddly enough, depsite their adaptation of mannerisms normally associated with the hypermasuclinity and machismo values of the Reggaeton world, they still manage to look more feminine than RuPaul.

I mention this subcategory today because it has recently come to my attention that for some unknown reason, these LGGQ's seem to always be attracted to me. I really don't know why. I am like the LGGQ anti-Christ. I rarely use any sort of street slang (unless "mangina" counts), I never text anyone saying "Sup pa?", I don't wear clothes that are 2 sizes too big and it will be a cold day in hell before I get any type of design shaved in my head. To be quite honest, I am a nerdy dork. So I think the next time one of these chilled out cool ass nikkaz try to kick their game to me I am going to politely ask, "Before this conversation proceeds any further, could you please tell me what has prompted you to approach me? Oh, and how big is your dick?"

Hopefully this new tactic will reveal some more of life's great mysteries!