Thursday, December 01, 2005

Random Childhood Memories.

Do you ever have those dreams that it's the first day of highschool again and you realize you missed the bus or forgot your books, or showed up to school wearing nothing but a cock ring?

Well, I had one of those dreams last night. In fact I had several dreams related to events in my childhood, which got me thinking about some of the odd and funny things I did or said as a kid.

- When I was 6 i was obsessed with Madonna and Cyndi Lauper (or as I called since I was missing a couple teeth, "Thyndi Lobster"). I distinctly recall drawing a picture of the two holding hands. it was complete with Cyndi's bright orange hair and Madonna's crucifix and "boy toy" belt. The most strinking thing though was the fact i drew both singers with transparent tops and drew their boobs and nipples!!!!! lol I wish i could remember the look on my mom's face when i showed her that picture. perhpas that's why she never suspected i was gay.

-I used to lock myself in my grandma's bathroom and paint my face with her Cranberry colored lipstick. Never once did I put it on my lips, but I thought I looked absolutely fabulous with a Rudolph Raindeer nose and a matching red forehead!

-Also in my grandmother's bathroom, was when I discovered what a fart looked like. I had always wondered if they looked like big brown bubbles coming out of your ass so one day I stood on the counter, turned around and watched myself fart in the mirror. To my dismay it turned out farts were invisible :(

-When my first pet hamster, Julie, died i pulled her body from the garbage and wandered around the block with crying and screaming that my baby had died. Trust me, the neighbors didn't know what to think about that one!

-I lived in an apartment building that didn't allow pets, but when i was in 2nd grade my mom got a cat anyways. Our nosey bitchy neighbor, Audrey tattled on us though and my mom had to get rid of the cat. Well, even at 7 years i was a master of revenge. A few weeks later after having my pussy taken away from me, I turned on the crocodile tears and told my mom Audrey had yelled at me and said i couldn't play outside in front of her window, my mom took me over to her apartment and bitched her out. I continued to cry even harder as Audrey swore up and down she hadn't told me that. I thne accused her of being the one who took away my pussy.


I guess being mean to old people has always been a hobby of mine :)

2 Comments:

Blogger Pinche Guero said...

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

8:00 PM  
Blogger bomitoni said...

oh no! i think my favorite is the farting story. lol! but the naked drawing is hilarious! see cyndi and madonna do get along.

1:14 PM  

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