I have always been a daydreamer. Some might say it is unhealthy to create an imaginary world in one's mind as that might impede an individual from confronting life's real obstacles, however I think daydreaming has quite the opposite effect. The hours I spend daydreaming at work, at school, or when I am all alone in my cold apartment actually probably have kept me from becoming the "bitter queen" so many gay men turn into. I remember when I was a little child I always daydreamed that I was really adopted and that one day my real parents were going to come for me. Sadly, that never happened and I finally had t oaccept the fact I truly was a spawn of Satan (my mother). As an adult, I often daydream about what life would be like if I won the lottery (come on, we all do that at least once), if I were to study abroad, if I moved to another city, if I had taken a different career path, etc.
I am writing about this today, because I recently was slapped in the face by reality. You see, when my daydreams do come true, they often come true in a very sick and twisted way. I have always envisioned myself studying at the school library one day when I look up and glance into the eyes of a beautiful and charming young man. It's love at first sight and we start having "study" dates. We help eachother with our homework, get soy lattes together before our morning classes, spot eachother in the gym, plan our classes so we can have lunch at the same time......yes I know, this is all quite vomit inducing, but bear with me.
So yesterday as I was hanging out in the computer lab looking for videos on you tube, that connection I just described was made........except the guy was a creepy child molestor looking smelly 30-something freak. He reminded me of Barney from the The Simpsons, but sober. This man must have been a graduate student because he looked like he was pushing 40. he came up to me quite abruptly (mind you I was at a computer AND listning to my iPod) and commented about how "hot" it was in the computer lab. Ewwww. He then said how he loved working this computer lab because no one ever bothered him. Geee, I wouldn't know. He sat back down and I though that was it, until he came back a few minutes later to tell me about some skit on Comedy Central involving a pharmacist and a gay politician. At that point there was no doubt in my mind he was hitting on me. I was especially weirded out that he hit on me with a story about a pharmacist. Has he been stalking me? How would he have guessed my major? I was only able to sleep well that night by telling myself it was a coincidence.
Maybe I should daydream about scary men flirting with me. Then I just might meet some hot beefaroni guy!