Gay Gladiator

Gay Pride weekend has come and gone here in Chicago yet I am still recovering from blisters on my feet and extremely sore legs/calves. I started the celebration the Tuesday before, when I went with my friend, Private Dancer(the one from the Nelly Furtado concert) to Kit Kat for dinner and martinis. It was his treat so you know I took advantage of that shit and got nice and sloshy. I swear, Kit Kat has the BEST martinis ever. The "Peanut Butter & Jelly" is my favorite one! Afterwards we stumbled from bar to bar for more drinks and mayhem. We had our final drinks at Roscoes while we enjoyed the "Drag Race" at Roscoes. While I was there I ended up meeting this really cute boy who I had recognized from MySpace. So naturally I contacted him and now have a date tomorrow! I never thought I could use Myspace as a man locator! LOL

Last Friday I tried something new and competed in a Jock Strap Contest at Crew.



The grand prize was $300 so I figured it would be worth the humilliation. Unfortunately I failed to realize that the key to winning these sorts of things is to bring 30 friends with you to be as loud as possible. I only had one friend with me so I lost....but I still had fun and got liquored up. The bar staff was very good to all of the boys that participated and I got wasted for free! I suppose it wasn't a total bust. Afterwards I headed over to Sidetrack where I learned another valuable lesson....never ever wear a soccer jersey to a regular gay bar. I had bought a "Brasil" jersey last year during the World Cup at H&M on a whim and decided to wear it that night. I must have been stopped every two feet by people who either asked me if I was from Brasil or started speaking to me in Portuguese. I had to explain to them that I was Brazilian by injection only, LOL. One good thing did come out of all of the unwanted attention. I met a cute guy visiting from Boston! Cute out-of-towners are always a plus in my book. They are a refreshing break from the usual whores you see out every weekend.

I ended the night at Circuit's "Chix Mix" lesbian night which was surprisingly filled with lesbians (duh) but of the lipstick variety! Who would have known? I thought Chicago was home to the largest Diesel Dyke population in the midwest. I guess I was wrong! The most memorable part had to be the girl squatted and peed into the urinal next to me. Um, yeah. That was something I never saw before!



Satruday I went out but was home early becasue the next morning I was to be on Sidetrack float for the parade. I never thought I would find myself in that statue outfit again (sans the paint)!



I swear, I had to walk about 12 city blocks to and from the float in the outfit. I cannot tell you how many people stopped me to take a picture with me....or to simply just fondle my lovely lady lumps! I felt so dirty! Trying to get through that sea of groping homosexuals was not fun! As for the 2 hours on top of a moving float.....holy shit. That was the leg work out of my life. Those things are bouncy and it was a struggle to keep my balance. After the parade I changed into normal people clothes and caught up with my already super trashed Milwaukee Sister. I had to play "catch up" really fast with all of my other drunk friends.



Despite my cramped claves and bloody feet I did manage to drag my broken ass to Green Dolphin Monday night to see the one and only Ultra Nate perform live! Check out her makeup...it was fucking fierce!





I had not had the pleasure to see Ultra since 2000 so I was very ecstatic. She told the audience she was getting over a cold but she gave it all she had. The set list was rather short and missed some of her biggest hits but at least she sang her house 90's classic "Free" (this is the footage I took with my camera).



I had not been to Green Dolphin's Monday night "Boom Boom Room" party in quite awhile and I forgot what an amazing and diverse mix of people it is. Men, women, gay, straight, drag queens, old, young, black, white, and everything in between just having a good time on the dance floor. It's too bad not every bar can be like this! It's also a very friendly crowd...I even made a new friend, "Velicity", who in my opinion is Chicago's very own Chi Chi LaRue! She helped make the time more entertaining since Ultra didn't take stage until almost 2:40AM!