Shut Up And Drive
I have always had a love/hate relationship with taxi cabs in Chicago. Compared to other cities I always thought the rates were rather expensive. The actual cab drivers break so many traffic laws that they make Asians and old people seem like a non-threat on the road. On the other hand, taxi cabs do come in handy when it is 4AM and I am well beyond the legal alcohol limit to drive myself. Unfortunately I have been noticing a disturbing trend with Chicago cab drivers and it is really starting to piss me off.
The past FOUR times as I have gotten into a cab in Boystown to go back to my apartment that is in Downtown I have specifically asked the driver to take Halsted instead of Lake Shore Drive. Although the speed limit is higher on Lake Shore Drive it actually is longer, not to mention at 4AM with no traffic, Halsted is just as quick....but shorter! Well, all four times the drivers have insisted on taking Lake Shore Drive. Two of them I had to argue with until they finally did as I told them to. One just ignored me and paid the price by not getting a tip. However, last night was the final straw. The motherfucker was already driving on Halsted when he suddenly turns down some random street. I got so angry that I started yelling at him like the military dictator of whatever third world country his ugly ass immigrated from, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I SAID TAKE HALSTED! WE WERE ON HALSTED! WHY ARE YOU HEADED TOWARDS CLARK??????!!!!!". The fucking dumb ass couldn't even give me a crappy explanation. Did he think just because I am drunk I wouldn't notice his little detour and sad attempt to get more money from me? I made him turn around and reset the meter.
Moral of the story for the cab drivers of Chicago: Don't fuck with a drunk gay boy who has just left a club without a hot guy to take home!