Serial Lovers

I have a unique mix of friends that provide me much entertainment on a daily basis. Luckily they are all good people. There aren't any serial killers or serial rapists in the bunch. However, I do have a few friends that are serial lovers. You know the type: every week they seem to "fall in love" with a different person and swear to god that this time it's forever. I guess forever is only 7 days.

I was talking on the phone today with one of my serial lover friends. I had a lousy connection on my cell phone (damn you AT&T!) but in between all of the static and interference my friend explained to me that he was so ECSTATIC because he was in love with some new guy and what a beautiful person he was and blah blah blah blah.

Now, I don't want to sound like a bad friend, because I am not. I may not be the perfect friend but I occasionally stop thinking about myself long enough to take interest in what my friends are telling me but during times like this it is just so hard for me to sound happy for a serial lover. The funniest thing about the conversation is that my friend claimed he had been with his new love interest everyday for the past three weeks. That's funny, because I just saw this friend last week and there was no mention of this love interest. Maybe he meant to say three days?

I have concluded that serial lovers have no concept of time. They are in love after two days of knowing someone and act as if it has been 5 years. When the 7 day relationship ends they are ready to commit suicide because ending such a long term and meaningful relationship is so hard.........well, until the following weekend when they meet a new lover and seem to completely forget the previous one as if an entire century had gone by.

I must share a secret on my blog. As amusing my serial lover friends can be, I think I prefer my serial slut friends. They don't bore me with crappy love stories. They call me up and tell me about their most recent, no-strings-attached hook-ups with one of their many fuck buddies. I don't have to sit through any crappy "i'm in love" stories. It's so much easier for me to show genuine interest when my slutty friends just give me the honest, trashy truth about their latest romp in the sack (or an alley, abandoned building, McDonald's bathroom, etc)!