Haemophilus Influenzae is a common bacterial pathogen involved in all sorts of lower and upper respiratory infections. By the sound of its name you would think it is what causes the flu. This is not the case. It got its name because it's often a secondary infection in people who get a really bad case of the flu. In other words one illness paves the way for another one to be established. Fun stuff, huh? But what does that have to do with anything? Well, while flu season is slowly approaching us, the real reason I bring up this bacteria today is because like my last post alluded, I tend to be a very science oriented individual and that is often how I relate all sorts of situations in life.
Another recent post found me discussing the sudden influx of unwanted sexual solicitors. Since that post the propositions have continued to flood my cell phone, Yahoo messenger and myspace to the point that I had to resort to lying and telling these people I currently have a boyfriend and am no longer single. The whole situation, while as funny as it may sound, suddenly had me reflecting on all sorts of other things directly and not so directly related to obnoxious booty calls. Since when did I, Mr. Sexbox, become so turned off by casual sex? I'm not sure I can pin point the exact date but it was definitely this summer. And it isn't so much the casual sex that is turning me off but with my graduation and 30th birthday next year I see my life heading in a very different direction. This direction most definitely involves a serious relationship. Now, I realize the quality of gay men is lacking and whether I have a long list of fuck buddies or not won't change that. However, if I want myself to be "dateable" in the next year I need to ditch the fuck buddies NOW.
I think a lot of gay men fall into this trap. They want sex on a regular basis so they make sure hook ups are plentiful and readily accessible at any given moment. The problem comes when you meet that person that is total boyfriend material. You hesitate to let go of all of the fuck buddies due to fear of finding yourself in the middle of a dry spell should the "total boyfriend material" guy turn out to be a loser after all. The distraction of the fuck buddies definitely makes it impossible to invest yourself 100% in this potential serious relationship. Subsequently the relationship fails to develop and you find yourself back with the fuck buddies. I have been in this situation before but looking back I realize I held onto the fuck buddies because I knew the person I was "dating" really wasn't boyfriend material but I just didn't want to admit it.
So I say goodbye to my fuck buddies but not necessarily casual sex. I'm by no means becoming a prude. If Mario Lopez knocks on my door you can bet he can sit on my face faster than you can say "Saved By The Bell"! I am also reestablishing a distinct line between friends and lovers. That's another thing that has become increasingly worrisome for me. Years ago sleeping with a friend was not something I would have ever considered. Now I look around and realize I have had sex with a couple friends........and there a few more that have made suggestive comments that they want to in the near future. No thanks!
Speaking of friends, I am afraid I not only find myself out growing the fuck buddies but also several friends. I suppose that's a natural process of life. Some people grow with you and some don't, but as I turn 30 next year I can honestly say it is going to be extremely hard for me to relate to people my age or older who are still living their lives like they were 19. I was speaking to a friend (who happens to be older) the other day and there was something that he said that was just so disturbing and sad that I really had to bite my tongue from asking him if he was joking.
Isn't it funny how one text message from an old fuck buddy started all of this?
So now I tackle the issue of having an imaginary boyfriend. I am going to have to think of a name for him, place of origin, where I met him, etc. just in case people start asking me questions. Geez, even an invisible boyfriend is time consuming!