So awhile back I was approached by a young man online. I told him I didn't do the online hook up thing anymore but I am always up for drinks and hanging out. I figure that way if worse comes to worse I make a new friend. Anyhoo, we met up for drinks and he seemed nice. Looks wise he wasn't really my type but he wasn't exactly ugly either. So while we were at his house he started to get flirty with me. I figured what the fuck, he could give me a blow job at least. I'd be fine with that. Well, needless to say he wanted to do alot more than just give me head, and as I stated before he wasn't exactly my type to go all the way to third base so I put my clothes back on and left. He got super pissy and couldn't wait to show me the way out.
Such nerve! He should have been APOLOGETIC, not angry! I mean, if I was giving a guy head and he suddenly decided he wanted to leave instead of finish I would take that as hint that perhaps my oral sex skills are lacking.
Anyhoo, the point of the story is I posted this on Craigslist under the "missed connections" section for a good laugh:
Title: (missed connections) We didn't connect sexually, deal with it. - m4m
I was polite but you got bitchy. So now I am going to be brutally honest. You were a lousy kisser, your breath reeked, your bedroom smelled like your dogs took a crap all over the place and that was the worst BJ of my life. Did you honestly think I would be willing to do more?
Oh and would it kill you to lift a few weights either? Nicole Richie has more muscle mass in her left thumb.
(PS, I should also mention that several people responded to the post offering me "mind blowing blowjobs". Awwwww...there are so many kind and considerate individuals out there!)