Friday, August 08, 2008

Domestic Disability

I am sure I have blogged about my lack of domestic abilities that prevent me from ever exploring such areas as interior design or fine culinary arts. I am also domestically disabled when it comes to doing laundry. After all of these years I barely can remember to separate my whites and colors. I have ruined MANY expensive articles of clothing in the wash so I have tried to be at least a little more careful and read the care tags. The thing is, now I get paranoid to wash anything that says "Hand Wash Only" "Spot Clean Only" "Dry Clean Only", etc. I am worried I will fuck something up and destroy it. Well, I have a really nice white comforter that has a big "Do Not Machine Wash" tag on it. So after having it a year and trying my best to spot clean it when necessary it was starting to get gross. The last straw was when a recent trick of mine (he was black) must have had too much of those bizarre hair products black people use and left a huge grease stain on my comforter. If he hadn't been so cute I might have been angry about the geri curl (sp?) juice but I decided to just test my luck and throw the shit in the washing machine.......

And guess what?

Nothing happened. It didn't shred into a million pieces of turn a funny color. It came out of the wash whiter than when I bought it. My next trick will never suspect someone with greasy hair product ever slept in my bed! As Chava would say, "yayness in the anus!"

In other news I recently made my annual pilgrimage to Milwaukee. It was also my last trip I shall ever make to Milwaukee. I've decided not only do I have to sometimes close a chapter in my life but throw out the entire fucking book. I have made frequent trips to Milwaukee since moving to Chicago 6 years ago. However, as family members passed away and friends moved across country I found fewer and fewer reasons to waste the gas driving 90 miles to that shit hole. Now only one friend remains and she will hopefully be moving in the next two years so I have decided there is no need for me to ever return to Milwaukee again.

Good bye Moo Town and good luck!


Blogger bomitoni said...

Milwaukee is our Porpoise Spit (fictional town in 'Muriel's Wedding'). I am so jealous you don't have to ever go back. It is such a vile place. I think the only thing worse would be having to to Indiana or Michigan. LOL.

I'm glad your comforter is juice free now!!!!

11:02 AM  
Anonymous Ren said...

Holla YO! Glad the Comforter cleaning went well! Don't listen to tags They LIE! Although I have ruined many a piece of clothes but I just get a new one! Moo town Is like Porpoise Spit! LOL Great comparison. There really is nothing there! So You know where I'm at and I'll get you here on the shore in no time:) Have a good week busy man! It was so wonderful seeing you It was too Short Looking forward to hangin out soon Take Care Sweets

8:42 AM  
Blogger Chicago_Sexbox said...

Trust me, the next time I see you will be at your place on the beach! You just need to help me find a hot farmer boy for later on in the evening, lol.

2:35 PM  
Blogger MatadorMexicano said...

ha! yay for the shoutout.

and black hair juice is grooooooosss! lol

2:56 PM  
Blogger Chicago_Sexbox said...

Oh Chava. You know I am always thinking of you. Usually it's when I have my hand on my crotch so I am unable to type about it.

6:53 PM  

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