Friday, July 31, 2009

Undergear: A New Era of Soft Gay Porn for Closet Cases Everywhere

I have always joked with my Milwaukee Sister about how we both enjoyed reading the Undergear and International Male catalogues when we were closet case gay teenagers. For us it was the closest thing we could get to having actual porn. Those catalogues were filled with scantily clad hunky men and LOTS of crotch close ups. I fell in love with so many of the models.

Well, closet case gays across the world can rejoice! No longer must they play dumb when the Undergear catalogue arrives every month in the mail addressed to a fake alias so no one in your household thinks you purposely subscribed. Now you can log onto the website and watch "PRODUCT VIDEOS" aka "SOFT GAY PORN"!

During these videos a hot and hunky model struts his stuff in front of a camera so the viewer can get a better idea of what the garment (or hot model) looks like in action.

I couldn't help but giggle during the product video of a yellow thong. Granted, the model was very handsome but the camera kept zooming in and out of his crotch (with just the right amount of bush poking through the top) with a pulsating techno beat playing in the background. Does this sound too ridiculous to be true? See for yourself!

Undergear video page

Thursday, July 30, 2009

"like a coffee machine in an office"

I am LOVING the new Shakira song, "She Wolf". As usual it is branded with her VERY unique take on the english language, but in my opinion that is what has made her english language recordings since 2001 so appealing. You never get any tired lyrical cliches (unline Madonna who's always "waiting and anticipating" about something or the other)

The video has just leaked and you can find it here....

She Wolf World Premiere

Shakira has an outfit that Beyonce only wishes she had used during the Single Ladies video, a blonde weave that makes Britney look like a cheap 2-cent hooker, sexy moves that Kylie hasn't had since her disco hey-day of Spinning Around, and a flexibility that even Madonna would be intimidated by. All the while Shakira maintains her quirkiness to ensure that everyone knows that yes, this is indeed Shakira. I was a bit turned off by her last english album due to its generic and stale attempt at mainstream success (really Shakira, your hips don't lie as you hire a rent-a-rapper and sing over a previously released song?) but she has redeemed herself!


Welcome back Shakira!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


I am making my official cyberspace announcement that the Chicago Sexbox Psycological and Social Services Department is officially closed until further notice!

I have a handful of extremely high maintenance friends who come to me with their problems and issues quite frequently (despite the fact they made the same stupid mistakes a few months back and ignored my original advice). However, with my financial future as uncertain as it is I simply cannot tend to these friends anymore. I have never had to do this but my offers to help people are no longer valid. In fact, I am not answering my phone anymore when certain individuals call me wanting me to help their new "boyfriend" move even though this "boyfriend" is just some guy he met 2 months ago and has been cheating on the entire time and I already got suckered into helping him move the past 3 times and he called me last minute and he had already made a promise to stop moving in with strange boys and stabilize his life.

Wow, I think that was a run on sentence there that probably didn't make much sense.

Anyhoo, if you are reading this and were thinking of calling me up with your problems and unusual requests to take advantage of my generosity please fuck off. I am not open for business.

Monday, July 27, 2009

¿A quien copia Kylie? ¡Este video tiene la respuesta!

Whoever made this video must have a LOT of free time on his/her hands. Granted I like to pick on Kylie, especially when it comes to comparing her to her more talented and beautiful sister Dannii but let's give her some credit. She's been in the music biz for over 20 years!

She only copies people some of the time :)=

Friday, July 24, 2009

My Pseudo BF

For the past few months I have had a pseudo-boyfriend. It's been nice. I never really planned on having a pseudo-relationship but I guess you could say this was a hook-up that turned out being a bit more long term than I originally anticipated. Well, to make a long story short, I think it's time to break up. But my question is, how does one break up with a pseudo-boyfriend? Does this require a pseudo-break up? Or would that defeat the purpose? Well, either way, what I do know is that I don't have the time or energy to be wasting on a pseudo-relationship. My plate is full right now and I don't want to sound like a broken record but with all that is going on right now I am not even interested in sex anymore.

Now that is shocking!

So i hope I don't hurt my pseudo-boyfriend's feelings. Surely he will understand......I hope! Maybe we can turn the pseudo-relationship into a real friendship? be continued........

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Work That Body

Ok, it doesn't get more homoerotic than this. Excerpts of Marky Marks work out video from the 90's to the tune of Diana Ross's Top 10 single from the 80's "Work That Body". Mr Wahlberg may be a little embarrassed by his past now that he is a respected Hollywood actor but I say there is nothing to be ashmed of. For decades women have been forced to use their looks as a major selling point in entertainment industry. Mr. Wahlberg should be proud for having been a pioneer. He used his hard body and flaunted it for all it was worth to help his career. Not many men even in 2009 are willing to do that.

Let's have a moment of silence (well, actually it's a moment filled with a divalicious old school track) for all the hard work Marky Mark did to make his fans happy.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Best Buy Fetish

I had a revelation today while standing in line at the Sbarro in the shopping mall a few miles from my school (I had to be on campus today). I was staring at this guy in a blue shirt and was totally mesmerized. I think I even got a semi. The line was moving REALLY slow so I had time to ponder what it was about this guy that was soooo sexy. At first I thought it was his smile but I realized it was a little crooked. He was kind of skinny too so there were no bulging biceps to get my attention. In fact, he was a very average looking caucasian suburbanite who just happened to be wearing his blue Best Buy shirt. He must have been on his lunch break. It was then that I realized I was not only holding up the line at Sbarro but my attraction for this guy had very little to do with his looks. I have a Best Buy employee fetish.

I suppose I have noticed this in the past. Whenever I go in a Best Buy there never fails to be at least 2 or 3 geeky young men who probably aren't older than 23 that get my heart racing. I just want them to bend me over and give me the best Best Buy special I have ever had in my life.

I am such a perv.

Anyhoo, other than my Best Buy revelation, this week has been shitty. I thought I had possibly found a job but that kind of fell through before I could even get a chance to blog about my excitement after having my first job interview. Shit happens I guess but I am in the middle of SHIT getting slung at me from all directions and it is getting extremely difficult to stay in a good mood or even bother socializing for that matter. Which I suppose is actually a good thing because now I don't think my money is going last until October unless I get a job before then or can pick up tons of extra hours at my current job in September. And working extra hours presents another problem because even on the few dates I do want to go out I can't and I can't tell my boss to take me off the schedule after I have already asked him to put me on for extra dates.

In addition to the whole job frustration I still have one more rotation to finish so I have to maintain a professional attitude and somehow be a nice student and shit so I don't fail. This normally comes natural for me but I worry every day about where I am going to be living in two months when my lease ends. Of course, I can't make plans to move somewhere if I still don't even know where the fuck I am going to be working.

Then on top of all of this I am trying to get started on a research paper with the help of the infectious diseases PharmD at my school. This is all with the hopes of having a published paper by this winter so I can have something extra to brag about on my CV when I am looking for post-grad programs.

Oh yeah, and I have to start studying for my licensure exams and meet the deadlines for some other shit for graduation.

So I am a little bitchy right now. Never in my life have I had so may resposibilities on top of such great uncertainty of my future. I am graduating in 7 weeks and I should be happy but I'm not. To avoid any conflicts with some of my more dramatic friends I have actually been avoiding phone calls. The extra stress simply isn't welcome right now.

Hopefully my next post will find me in a better mood. I think a hook-up with a nerdy Best Buy employee could do the trick.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Will Suck For Food

So I am finally starting to feel the recession! I was always a later bloomer I suppose. As my graduation date gets closer and I still have no idea where I will be working, I have been watching my money (and credit cards!) VERY closely. I have been limiting my nights outs, avoiding clothing stores and trying to only buy music cd's that are used or on sale at Best Buy for 7.99. lol

However, during these HARD times I find myself having to resort to extreme measures in order to supplement my monthly income. I have been making frequent visits to a shady, industrial part of town where I use my sucking skils in exchange for cash. The situations don't take away my dignity but they do leave a sticky mess afterwards.

Obviously, I am referring to the consumer taste testing research center at the Wrigley (the gum/candy company) building here in Chicago! I have been doing this for quite some time now. The Wrigley company pays ordinary people like me to come for an hour and taste new products that they are developing. The monetary compensation is quite nice too! Let's just say I make more in that one hour chewing a new fruit flavor gum or new variety of hard candy than I would make at my regular job! This month the money I made was enough to pay for my gas and internet! Now that is fierce!

Sunday, July 05, 2009

On The Road Again

I have been a car owner since I was 18. The Toyota Yaris I purchased this year was my third car. Having a car has always been a key to independence and in recent years an absolute necessity. I would have never have been able to get through pharmacy school (and especially my internships which can potentially be cancelled and rescheduled 50 miles out of the way without any advance warning!) without a car. Nevertheless I fucking hate driving.

The amount of traffic and the poor quality of drivers in the Chicagoland area makes driving unbearable. If I had things my way I would live, work and go to school all on the same block! Unfortunately my life in Chicago has put me all over the place making that dream rather impossible. Hopefully this will all come to an end this Fall but either way, I will hang on to my car because I know that my life will be changing quite a bit in the next year.

Even though I hate driving unless it is necessary, I had the urge yesterday to drive 45 minutes north to Gurnee Mills. That is the name of an outlet mall I used to frequent many years ago. I had heard they had opened a Neiman Marcus Last Call store so I thought I would check it out. I invited my Pseudo-Boyfriend to join me on my mini-road trip north. There were no good sales so I didn't buy anything but the drive both ways was wonderful. No traffic!

I then came home and went to bed. Such an exciting 4th of July!

Friday, July 03, 2009

20 Ounces of Frustration

Why is it so hard to find 20oz bottles of soda in 6 packs when I go to the grocery store? Have Coke and Pepsi stopped making them? All they have now are those tiny 8oz bottles or the huge ass fat girl 24 oz bottles. It fucking gets on my nerves. Fortunately I love Dr. Pepper and they are still making the 20oz bottles. I know this sounds trivial but little things can bother me sometimes.

Another thing pissing me off is that Starbucks has temporarily discontinued the "Vivanno". I loved them. It was an icey creamy blend of chocolate, protein, real banana and a shot of espresso. They were yummy in winter and even better in summer.....well, until now that they aren't serving them anymore for some unknown reason. The last time I did my grocery shopping I was so bummed that I couldn't sip on a Vivanno while filling my cart with low-carb goodies (the Vivanno was actually low in sugar FYI).

Speaking of the grocery store I need to get there soon. I had today off from my internship. Technically though it was a pseudo-day off because I had to work on a research paper that i JUST completed and emailed less than an hour ago. My next project is a presentation which is due on Wednesday so I still have time to procrastinate on that one.

Now that this post has turned into a bunch or randomness, can I say I how jealous I am of the girl in the neighborhood that screams so loud during sex that it echos through the entire block and alley. She must have the most amazing boyfriend.....or a space age dildo. Either way, I want to know what her secret is. She puts the girls in porn to shame. If I was hearing her for the first time I would think she's getting murdered! LOL