Wednesday, September 28, 2005

"Movin' On Up"

Well we're Movin' on Up!
Movin' on Up!
To the east side!
Movin' on Up!
To a dee-luxe apartment in the sky, We're movin' on up!
Movin' on Up!
To the east side!
Movin' on Up!
We've finally got a piece of the pie!

Well paint me black and call me Weezie cuz i'm movin' on up just like the Jeffersons! lol I went to pick up the keys to my new apartment. I also was able to check things out to make sure everything was clean and ready for me to move in. What can I say, I think I finally found the perfect apartment! The place is perfect and my view is breathtaking! Ok, i have to finish packing :)

Sunday, September 25, 2005

And HELL it was!

So yesterday I went with my favorite Cunty Bitch to see Hellbent, the gay horror film that I had talked about a few posts ago. Well, I have a tendency to enjoy trashy movies, but even I will admit this movie was crap. There were some funny moments and the ending was a little suspenseful, but overall I don't even know why they bothered making this mess. Thank god for the hot actor, Andrew Levitas that played "Chazz". Apparently he was on "Party Of Five" and "The Nanny" and also appeared in another independent film I saw a few years ago, "Psycho Beach Party" (now that one is funny!). Good lord he was so hot I thought I was going to bust a nut right there in the movie theater. I controlled myself though since I didn't think my friend would have appreciated that. However, he was too busy checking out the scary old man sitting next to him, lol. I think it was love at first sight for those two!

Other than that, I downloaded the new OBK album, "Feeling". It's fucking fierce! For those who aren't familiar with OBK, they are a pop/electro group from Spain. I DO plan on purchasing the album, but the mp3's I donwloaded will have to do for now, since the import probably won't show up in the US for a couple weeks.

SO I leave you guys with this week's Beefaroni, Andrew Levitas aka Chazz....

Friday, September 23, 2005

Teenage Pornography

Undergear, International Male, Men's Workout, the men's underwear department

Teenagers nowadays have it easy. Pornography is readily available to any curious youngster that has access to the internet. It's not fair! I was having a disucssion the other day with my Milwaukee Sister about the measures we took as teenagers growing up the 90's to obtain porn. Well, we both confessed to having masturbated to Undergear/International Male catalogues and those men's workout magazines! Those catalagues were (and still are) so risque. You could practically see a guy's entire dick through the tiny semi-transparent underwear and swimsuits they wore. Even to this day I still look forward to my new Undergear catalogue arriving in the mail. In fact, I have developed a crush on several of the recurring models. This one is my favorite and was Beefaroni a few weeks back

In addition to the catalogues, when I went shopping with my mother and she was busy in the women's department, I would head over to the men's underwear section and fantasize about all of the hot underwear models. My obesession became out of control though when I would actually tear off the front covers of the underwear boxes! The Calvin Klein bikin brief model shared many intimate moments with me in my bedroom. I often wonder what happened to all of my "teen porn" that I used to collect. Perhaps I threw it away once I started buying real porn? hmmmmmm....

The first time I purchased REAL gay porn was when I was 16. There was a store not far from my highschool where they never checked ID's, so one day after school I got enough courage to go there by myself. I was so embarrased to be buying a gay porn that I tried to make it look better by buying two straight videos and three Hustler/Playboy magazines. Anyhoo, you can imagine the look of horror on my face when I was paying for my items and the lady at the cash register had to do a price check. She started screaming really loud "Hey Susie, I need a price check on LATEX LATINS.......", I wanted to die because there were several people behind me! It's ironic to think now, 10 years later, I can casually browse the prono magazines at Tower Records and not give a shit if someone sees me!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Life Goes On...and its Perfection!

Creo que el tiempo lo resolverá
con calma
no gastes tu vida en llorar
por ti
el mundo vuelve a girar contigo o sin ti...será
no creo que tú te quieras quedarte aquí
y morir

Siempre habrá otro lugar
y siempre habrá otra respuesta
la vida no va a parar
te quedas o te vas

Porque siempre hay alguien más
que te dirá que te quiere
la vida no va a parar
te quedas o te vas

Who would have though the simple lyrics of Belanova's "Te Quedas O Te Vas" could be such practical advice. Even during bad times, the world does keep on turning. Whether we keep going also is up to us. Despite a not so great weekend, I must say I have jumped right back into the swing of things this week. Actually, I am probably too overwhelmed with school right now to really waste time worry about anything else. I got my organic chemistry exam back this week. I only got an 86%, but the professor does apply a small curve, so that actually comes out to be an "A". Woo hoo! Now next week I have to worry about a physics exam......ugh.


Anyone who knows me, can attest to the fact that I am obsessed with Dannii Minogue, Kylie Minogue's younger, prettier and more talented sister! Well, after MANY delays (Dannii's a perfectionist, what can she say?) Dannii's new single is about to be released overseas. Hopefully we will see a North American release also, but if not, there is always The new song is called "Perfection". Apparently it was originally an instrumental disco-house track done by a production team called Soul Seekerz. It samples the old disco classic, "Turn The beat Around", and I must admit that is what made me hate the song initially, but the song has grown on me after a few listens. I still don't know what to think about the video, but I can't wait to own a copy of the single with all of the remixes!

And as I tell everyone when I am drunk,

"Dannii's better than Kylie, bitch!"

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Fuck Them All

So have you ever liked someone, only to have them stomp all over your heart with their little satan hooves leaving you feeling bitter, humilliated and betrayed? Well, let me tell you, it's not a pretty feeling. Hell hath no fury like a Chicago_Sexbox scorned.

Song of the day I HATE YOU by Prince.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Homos have to worry about hell afterall!


So who wants to see this with me? The first ever gay horror film is finally coming to the Landmark theater here in Chicago next week Friday. I will be working that night, but I am definitely going Saturday, the 24th. I pobably shouldn't, since I will have a physics exam to study for, but I have been eagerly awaiting the release of this movie for almost a year! Sadly though, I am afraid I will be going by myself. My "unique" taste in movies often puts me in these types of situations. It's no wonder I am single! But then again, if I look at the bright, perhaps I will meet a hot guy at the theater if I go by myself.....hmmmmm......

Here are some pictures from the movie. Oh, the killer looks like he has Beefaroni potential!!!

Last night I went to Hydrate. I went by myself but I ended up running into a bunch of friends so I had a great time. Tracy Young was the guest DJ and she rocked the house! She played all of my favorite faggy dance songs, including her very own remix of Madonna's "Easy Ride". I think I might go back there tonight because club diva, Suzanne Palmer, will be giving a live performance. Actually, I want to go out tonight again simply because I am afraid this is the last weekend I am going to have time to go out until November. Between moving, school, and the PCAT, my schedule is packed. I am not even going to be able to see my favorite hottie DJ, Tony Moran September 30th when he come to Hydrate.

Speaking of moving, I can't fucking wait! I know it seems so shallow to bitch about the apartment I live in now, considering all of those people from New Orleans don't have a home at all, but who cares. I am shallow, lol. So here is my Top 10 reasons why I Can't Wait To Fucking Move

1. The psychopath who lives upstairs always sounds like he is murdering someone and disposing of the body!
2. The giant sewer rats that live in the parking lot scare me.
3. The giant roaches and man eating spiders in the first level of the building scare me even more.
4. Al-Quaeda prisoners of war live in cells that are larger than my apartment.
5. Even the Brady Bunch would say my kitchen is outdated.
6. There is always a bum drinking a bottle of whiskey by my car!
7. My landlord waits over a week to give me my packages.
8. I am tired of having a view of a brick wall.
9. There is always a truck blocking the entrance to my parking.
10. There is never an available washer or dryer. Motherfuckers!

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Midnight Snack

Oh dear, it's 3AM and I am studying for that organic chemistry exam. I have to be up in 4 hours! Oh no! I just drank a diet Dr. Pepper and the caffeine has me wired. I am going to regret this tomorrow though.......

Too much caffeine always makes me horny, and since my internet is back up I thought I would post some Beefaroni! This week I pay tribute to gay porn star Victor Rios. He has appeared in several Chi Chi La Rue films (search for them here, TLA Video ) but I actually discovered him in Men magazine. He is gorgeous. Amazing body, lips, butt, and well, let's just say God was very generous with our dear Victor in certain other "areas". I don't want my blog to turn into a soft porn website, like a certain blogger I know (although i love everyone of his perverted posts! lol) so I was limited to the pictures I could post of the lovely Mr. Rios.

Enjoy! I have to figure out the structure of N-tert-butyl-3,4dimethylbutanamine now..........

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

No Internet :(

So my internet stopped working last Friday. I have called my internet provider and hopefully when I get home from work tonight things will be back to normal. I go online almost everyday but fortunately I have internet access at both work and school. However, I will have to delay and Beefaroni posts since I can't upload any pictures from my home computer :(

School just started three weeks ago and I already have an exam in my organic chemistry class tomorrow. What the fuck. We have barely covered two chapters. needless to say I haven't done much studying. Wish me luck!

oooh,and I think I need to take a break from my Twin Peaks viewing. I keep dreaming that Laura Palmer is trying to contact from beyond the grave.

Hopefully I can post some Beefaroni by Friday. Lord knows a little eye candy can brighten up even the gloomiest days.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Fire Walk With Me

Twin Peaks! I am rediscovering this cult classic thanks to the wonders of DVDs. When I was 11, I remember watching Twin Peaks and becoming mesmerized by this ground breaking ABC drama. Mind you, this series wasn't necessarily aimed at children, but I was not your ordinary 11 year old. I have always had a taste for the odd and quirky things in life, and Twin Peaks definitely struck a chord with me. In fact, I became so intrigued (as was most of the nation at the time) with the mystery of "Who Killed Laura Palmer" that I even made a chalk drawing of the above cadaver photo in my art class in junior high. I am sure my art teacher though it was a bit macabre, but I didn't care. In fact I still have the chalk drawing under my bed.

Last year on ebay, I came across the entire 2 seasons (Twin Peaks was a short lived show, too surreal for the mainstream masses I suppose)on a DVD set that was sold only in Spain. Luckliy I have a multi-ragion DVD player. I rarely have time to watch tv so the DVD's sat in my house, until a few weeks ago when I finally started to watch them. My god, this show was brilliant! It was so ahead of its time mixing humor, drama, symbolism, vivid visual presentaion, quirky characters, plot twists and spontaneity. Even 14 years after it was cancelled, there are still pages and pages of theories and questions left unanswered about the various plot lines, characters and imagery. I loved the show as a kid but now as an adult I am able to appreciate it even more!

I still can't decide who my favorite character was. Perhaps the "Log Lady"?

Hmm.....unfortunately, I don;t think I know anyone else that is equally fascinated by this series, which means I am going to be watching all of the episodes by myself! Bummer! :(

Friday, September 09, 2005

No Dices Mas

Tras de la lluvia el sol
y nunca me sentí mejor, no.
No se lo que pasó que el mundo de color cambió.
Y es que tú, apareciste así
sin saber, te has metido en mi.
Tanto pensar en ti
ya me ha hecho decidir
me cuesta mucho pero te lo voy a decir
Y es que yo,
ya no puedo más,
ya no me importa lo que vaya a pasar.

Solamente tú me puedes destruir o salvar
dos palabras bastarán.
Te podría esperar hasta que se evapore todo el mar, pero tú no dices más.
oh no.

No se si estuvo bien, decirte toda la verdad
tal vez así lo entiendas y lo sepas valorar......

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Drug Dealers Of America

This week has been quite uneventful. Today I was at the first general meeting for the Pre-Pharmacy Club (aka Future Drug Dealers Of America) at school. Since I am the secretary my presence was absolutely vital! Who else who have passed around the attendance sheet? lol
Ooooh, there is a cutie though this year in the club. He's too skinny to be called beefaroni (apparently there were some rules as to the proper use of the word 'beefaroni' that my Milwaukee Sister forgot to tell me about!) but this boy is bootylicious. He is in another one of my classes and I have already made sure to sit next to him and strike up a friendly conversation. I doubt he's gay, but it doesn't hurt to have eye candy so close :)

Actually, the number of hot boys at my school is ridiculous. I find it hard to concentrate as I walk from class to class. I am so busy looking at biceps, chests, bulges, butts, etc, that I am afraid one of these days I am going to walk into a garbage can or wall or something........
The other day I was at the school gym when this hot guy that looked like Vin Diesel went to take a shower. It's such a shame I was jsut arriving and I couldn't take a shower too so I could have seen all of his 'assets'. But let me tell you, he had the pecs of an olympic god. Grrrr......

Let's see.....what else.....ah yes, I have begun to pack. I don't move for another three weeks, but I am not going to have alot of time so I have to utilize my free time wisely.

um, has anyone else heard the new Madonna song, "Hung Up"? If you got to you can hear a clip of the song. It is FIERCE! I think Madonna is about to make a big comeback. After that entire "American Life" fiasco things weren't looking good for her, but her new album, "Confessions On A Dancefloor", sounds like it is going to be the pop/dance gem we have been waiting for since "Music". I can't wait!

Sunday, September 04, 2005

I Don't Care

I Don't Care is the title of Ricky Martin's latest single, and to be quite honest, it accurately describes how most of the public will feel about the song. It's definitely the worst song of his career. It sounds like a reject Jennifer Lopez song, and based on the poor performance of her most recent album, Afterbirth, oops, I mean "Rebirth", I don;t think it's a good thing to be copying her sound.

But anyhoo, I do not want to bash Ricky. I actually adore him. I loved his last album and I hope this first single doesn't represent what the rest of the new album will sound like. Despite his shitty new song, I must declare Ricky as this week's BEEFARONI!. I just got the latest edition of People En Español and Ricky is featured on the cover.....and oh my god, the man has increased his Beefaroni factor by 1000%. Holy balls! Just look at him! This week is going to be filled with lots of wet dreams for me!

I'll buy his crappy new cd just for the pictures! lol

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Moenia Y Aleks Syntek

Last night I attended the Moenia/Aleks Syntek concert at the House Of Blues with La Niña Fresa. Unfortunately, I had to endure Aleks Syntek's performance for almost an hour. I do not hate his music, but to be quite honest I am not a fan at all. The only song I like is Sexo Pudor Y Lágrimas, but I only have the remix version on my iPod and he only sang the original boring version! I will give him credit though for having a very charismatic personality and strong stage presence. He even did a medley featuring 70's soul/funk songs. Who would have though Aleks was down with the P-funk era? lol

But that one hour of Aleks was well worth the wait. Moenia was incredible. My ears are still ringing from all of the screaming of people around me. I thought it was so funny that despite the fact the lead singer was looking as flamboyant as ever, all of the girls were practically throwing themselves at him. Silly girls!
The setlist was pretty much what I expected: about 5 songs from their most recent album, Stereohits, along with all of their other classics, "Tu Sabes Lo Que Quiero", "Manto Estelar", "Estabas Ahi", "En Que Momento", etc. .

I was initally annoyed though because this ugly straight coupled decided to push themselves right next to me to get closer to the stage. The fucking animals then proceeded to make out and practically fuck eachother. The girl's titties kept rubbing against me and I was getting sick to my stomach. Her naco boyfriend was ugly and smelled. It was quite obvious they were trying to piss me off so I would move, however I am a stubborn bitch (and I was bigger than them! lol) and I didn't budge. I think they got a little intimidated when I beagn to jump up and down and by Moenia's second song, the nasty slut and her indigenous boyfriend finally went away. You know, this isn't the first time a nasty naco straight couple wants to practically have sex at a concert right in front of the stage. In my opinion, if you aren't going to pay attention to the concert, go in the fucking back! Gay people aren't like this. We know the appropriate times and places to be overly intimate with our partners: public restrooms, parks, back rooms in bars, cars.....but NEVER EVER at a concert!

After the concert we went to Sidetracks for a bit. I had an interesting conversation with La Niña Fresa that left me feeling a bit frustrated. Hmmm, well, I won't go into all of the details since I am just too lazy to write everything, but I just have to ask myself, "Are there any normal, emotionally stable men gay men in existence today? Or are they all fucked up in some way or the other?". I actually don't think I want to know the answer to that one, lol.

Thursday, September 01, 2005


Hmm, I am at work and bored to death, so I thought I would kill a little time blogging.

Not much has happened since my last post. I have been calling various moving companies and it looks like it will cost me $400 to move. That was actually less than what I was expecting, which means I have more money to spend at IKEA! Woo hoo! I can't wait to get my new place all furnished.

So I am a little upset about this weekend. I was suppose to have Sunday off, but now it looks like I will be working :( Hopefully it won't be that busy since it's a holiday weekend and I can catch up on studying for the PCAT.

Ooooh, with all the stress of finding an apartment, I almost forgot to mention I finally met the guy that I had described as being hotter than Mario Lopez. Well, let's just say his picture was a little deceiving. He definitely was a hottie, and I think he may become a repeat customer, but he didn't look like his picture! Ah, but what can I expect, people never look like how they do online. Why is that? I have been told I actually look better in person. Perhaps I am not very photogenic? Or maybe I just have a cheap camera? Who knows.

Well, tomorrow is the Moenia/Aleks Syntek concert. It looks like it will be just me and La Niña Fresa since my Milwaukee Sister and Jorgillo can not make it :(