Tuesday, August 29, 2006


Mario Lopez's stint on CBS's daytime soap, "The Bold And The Beautiful", was short lived and ended earlier this summer. It is a shame because by the time I got cable so I could see his succulent pecs, juicy bubble butt and adorable dimples, he was gone! However, I have something new to look forward to......Mario will be playing a gay plastic surgeon on the television series "Nip/Tuck". There is a god people. This is a million times better than a crappy daytime soap opera because on cable television we get to have...........


These pictures from the new season have already leaked to give us a preview of the type of homoerotic escapades await us....

Now that is an ass. That is the kind of ass I can sink my teeth into. I could eat that for days and days and days.......yum!

Ok, now before I begin to orgasm (which would not be a good thing since i am sitting here at work as i type this), I must say how happy I am to finally have....

I finally have cable again! I do not watch much television so I was always content with the regular broadcast stations in Chicago, but when I moved downtown last year I could no longer get decent reception on my tv. I think the only channel that came in clearly was Telefutura, and to be quite honest, there is only so much "Escándolo TV" that I can handle. So last month RCN representatives were in my building and I signed up for digital cable. I was surprised by how much cheaper RCN was than Comcast. For only $15 more I am getting about twice the number of channels I got with Comcast. So far my favorite channels are HTV and LOGO. Since Chicago's last latin pop radio station changed formats, it has been hard for me to keep up with all of the latest latin pop music. HTV has been a blessing with their 24/7 music videos. I have already discovered some new artists. As for LOGO, I initally thought a gay television network was kind of lame, but my doubts have been put to rest. The variety of programming on LOGO is quite impressive. The other day I was watching a film documentary about the struggles of two gay/lesbian couples. The twist was that in both cases, one partner was Israeli and the other partner was Palestinian. The film captured a whole new perspective of the Israeli/Palestinian crisis that most people never probably stop to think about. It was most definitely one of the most enlightening films I have seen this year. I know my Milwaukee Sister has been raving about LOGO's original series, "Noah's Arc", but I have yet to see that. With my hectic schedule it is hard for me to commit myself to a weekly series, but I think I will try to check this show out this Wednesday!

Monday, August 28, 2006

Hair Today........Gone Tomorrow?

Wentworth Miller from the television series "Prison Break" is such a cutie! I do not watch the show but the ads have always caught my attention. Wentworth has such striking features: those eyes, that jaw line, that nose.....I could go on and on. I can almost forgive the fact that he is a bit manorexic. What I especially like is his hair. I have seen him with long hair, but I must say the buzz cut does wonders for him.

Now, I would never let a celebrity influence how I dress, act or do my hair
(although I will admit I would love to raid Ricky Martin's wardrobe!), but Wentworth's buzz cut has got me thinking perhaps I should go for a "Prison Break" hair style myself. Ironically SEVERAL people in the past month have suggested I buzz my hair. I have had the same hair cut since i was a teenager so I shuddered at the idea of even slightly changing it. however, I think the time has come for a change. This Labor Day I am taking out the clippers and buzzing my hair off. Perhaps I will look stupid and will totally regret it. Who knows. What I do know though is if anyone makes one nasty comment I will be ready to fire back with 10 other nasty comments about them. Trust me, I can and WILL be vicious. So that's just a warning to anyone who dares to say anything more than just a simple "i like it" or "i don't like it".

Beware bitches.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Velocity of Eddie

Don't you hate when start to watch a movie and you begin to realize during the first few scenes that you have seen it before? You can't remember exactly when you saw it or what the exact plot was and it is frustrating as hell! This happened to me this weekend with this movie:

I had to work this weekend but JQ came over for a little bit Saturday night. We were watching Notorious C.H.O. on Logo (did I mention I finally got cable again last month and I am loving it? I'll save that for another post). I had seen that before but Margaret Cho is always funny, regardless. Anyhoo, that was followed by "The Velocity Of Gary". Now I totally remember the opening scene with the deaf tranny who claims he lost his hearing because of "too much applause", but I will be damned if I can remember the rest of the movie or when the hell I even saw it! God, it sucks getting old! lol

However, the point of today's post is not to put my premature senility in the spotlight, but to have a quick appreciation for Salma Hayek

She's pretty and has big boobies! What's there not to love? But seriously, I am not one to obsess over an actress, but I appreciate the variety of films Salma appears in. I have a very "unique" taste in movies so it is always a shock to see a mainstream actress like Salma playing a waitress in a gay/HIV film (The Velocity of Gary), an alien highschool nurse (The Faculty) or an aspiring disco singer (Studio 54).

Anyhoo, so I didn't finish watching the movie since it was getting late. I suppose I will have to rent it one night so I can actually remember what the hell happens!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Poopy Loopy

I am pee shy. I am also poop shy. I am pee and poop shy. I am PAPS (not to be confused with the cervical cancer diagnostic procedure, pap smear!). Being PAPS has brought me much distress in my life. I used to be completely incapable of peeing at a urinal for years. I would just stand there with my dick in my hand staring at the wall in front of me for 10 minutes until I would just give up. Lately I have been getting better and I can occasionally squeeze it out. A friend of mine (not a secret friend, just a regular friend) hypothesized that perhaps I am scared of someone seeing my genitalia. This is definitely not the case. I have had to ask guys that I had just had sex with not to look while I peed. I have no problem being an exhibitionist. I just can't pee while doing it!

Going #2 is even worse. Sure I enjoy the privacy of a stall, but if I even suspect someone might hear my kids dropping in the pool I immediately freeze up. Oh, and if I fart too, that's it! I won't leave the stall for 15 minutes. The worst part though is when I finish and step out of the stall only to discover someone actually WAS in the bathroom. That post-poop glare strangers give me just makes me want to run and hide in shame. I feel like I have been caught doing something bad. Why is this????? And I know it just isn't me. I have stumbled upon many people exhibiting the same type of "poop shame" as they step out from the stall.

However, my ultimate toilet terror is when people try to make small talk in a desperate attempt to divert attention from the "poop shame". I don't want to talk about the weather after I have just emptied my bowels. I don't want to say anything to anybody for that matter while I am doing anything in the bathroom. It's fucking unnatural!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

12 More Days

There are 12 more days until I go back to school. I can't fucking wait. Don't get me wrong, I love being without homework or not having to study. However, once I begin pharmacy school there will be one significant change in my life......I will never have to work full time as a medical technologist again. My Secret Friend #4 pointed that out to me the other day.

Over the past 4 years I have grown so disgusted and bitter with this career that coming to work and even being slightly pleasant is a struggle that requires 80% of my energy reserves. I don't even care that working part time will leave me poor. I look forward to being able to come home after school to do homework, sleep, go to the gym or just do nothing! I have learned racking up huge student loans won't be the end of the world. My happiness and subsequent sanity is far more important.

So yeah, today is not a "happy day". I am at work and in a very foul mood!

Monday, August 21, 2006

Jessica Simpson????? Nooooooo!!!!!!!!

You scored as Jessica Simpson. You are a generous, loving, and compassionate person who is very popular! You are a great friend and will always be willing to help someone. You may seem stupid sometimes, but you are actually very intelligent and people need to understand you more. You are very beautiful and successful so you'll go far in life

Jessica Simpson


Kelly Clarkson


Avril Lavigne


Christina Aguilera


Britney Spears


What female popstar are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Well, I suppose the description is fairly accurate. I just don't like being associated with that bitch! lol


Are human beings fickle organisms by nature or is it just me? I swear I can't get no satisfaction :)

I had four days off, which should have been a good thing. On the 4th day off I couldn't wait to go back to my regular schedule. Today I am back at work and I am ready to go back home! And can someone explain to me why I am so tired???? Jesus Christ, how much sleep do I need???? lol

My extended weekend/vacation was fun. In addition to seeing "Another Gay Movie", my four day vacation was filled with four dates (well, all with the same person). Yes, it is true. I actually met a guy who was worth going out with more than once, lol. He's cute, funny, cute, smart, and cute. :) I have a friend who meets a new guy every week and after one date (or blowjob, whichever comes first I suppose) he starts to refer to this person as his "boyfriend". I do not want to be like that friend so I shall not say too much about this guy I have met. Maybe if he is still around in a few months I will dedicate an official post about him.

Ah, but I would like to say I saw "Quinceañera" with him on Thursday. It's a cute movie! I highly recommend it. It's not just another one of those "Messican" movies :)=

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Another Gay Weekend Update

Go see the movie!!!!!!! OMG!!!! If you are a fan of raunchy bathroom humor, male nudity, gay sex and parodies, "Another Gay Movie" is a MUST SEE! And although I will not say WHICH scene, I definitely identified with some moments of that movie.

And yes, the book "Anal Pleasure & Health" really does exist, I own it! LOL

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Another Gay Weekend

Woo hoo! Tomorrow is the start of my 4 day weekend. I suppose you could call this a "mini vacation". I had been toying with the idea of taking a quick trip somewhere but I decided that I am too poor right now. Also, this is the first time this summer I have a couple of days to do NOTHING! Sure, I was in NYC in June and then there was my extended weekend in July when my friend Michelle came, but this time I can be selfish and do nothing........or do something that only interests me! I will attempt to go to the beach if the weather permits but one thig for sure is I am going to see.....

The trailer loks hilarious and I see it is showing at Century Mall this week.Michael gave the movie a great review!

Other than that I might hang out with some more of my Secret Friends (yes, there is more than one!) oooh, and I also need to pick up a few cd's....and maybe a few shirts too to go with those fierce jeans I got last week. I am so bad, I really need to have my credit cards taken away from me!

Monday, August 14, 2006

I'm happy today.

Having a blog is a great way to vent all sorts of emotions, especially anger and frustration. However, today I just want to say that I am happy. I have alot of reasons to be happy today, but I am not going to make a long boring post about all of them. Maybe tomorrow won't be as happy, but after 27 years I have learned we have to enjoy life for the moment. If we spend to much time worrying about what bad things may come in the future we won't be able to appreciate the good things we have today. Yes, I know, how cheesy.

Anyhoo, I leave you guys with a happy video!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Bar Quotes

I have had some of the most interesting and bizzare encounters with people in bars over the years......

Guido: You look just like my ex-wife.
Me: Um, I am not sure how I should take that....

*after a few minutes of silence and VERY awkward small talk*

Me: Well, I bet I can guess why you two got divorced, ha ha ha.
Guido: So are you getting scared?
Me: Scared? Um, no. Annoyed? Definitely. Goodbye.

Mr. Roper: You know, it's real a shame to see such a hot guy like you dress so flamboyantly.
Me: Thanks for the concern but old men that look like Mr. Roper from 3's Comapny in a trench coat at Roscoe's shouldn't be giving fashion tips.

Mr. NYC: Hey, 'sup stud?
Me: Nothing much. Are you having a good time tonight?
Mr. NYC: Yeah, um, hey, you wanna do some coke with me in the bathroom?Me: Oh, I, uh, I always get a really bad allergic reaction from that stuff.

*as I walk away I don't know what is worse, his question or my lame response!*

Mr. Big Stuff: So hey, what's going on? You looking to hang tonight?
Me: yes, I am looking to hang...but only if you are hung.
Mr. Big Stuff: I have 9 inches.
Me: Good answer. Follow me.

*I forget to ask though if he could actually get that 9 inches HARD!*

Naco: You are so cute! Like you are nothing like my ex-boyfriend. He was fat and gross...and he used to beat me all the time. He was s smoker. He would burn me with his cigarettes whenever he got pissed. Look at the scars on my arm....see! But I got rid of his ass. We broke up yesterday. he said he is going to kill me but whatever. I am living out of my car right now so it's not like as if he could track me down that easily! So tell me more about yourself.
Me:Um....I...uh.....oh, wait one second. I have to go to the bathroom. I forgot to take my once a day Valtrex for genital herpes. I'll be right back!

Me (randomly singing): "voy a dejar mi lipstick por todo tu culo......"
Mr. Brazil: I don't speak spanish. I'm from Brazil.
Me: Ooooooooh! Really? That's hot!
Mr. Brazil: Have you ever had Brazilian in you?

I don't remember what I said after that because I was too drunk. All I know is I never was able to take him up on his offer! Dammit!

Saturday, August 12, 2006


So I am three weeks away from starting school. I am also three weeks away from no long having a full time income to support my bad spending habits. Last month I decided I would stop buying excessive cd's, clothes, porn, etc. Um, that lasted for about two weeks. Something tells me I am going to be in major debt when I graduate!

Yesterday I went on Michigan Ave and State Street with my Secret Friend. I don't hang out much with my Secret Friend much, but he was on vacation this week and I had the day off. Somehow I managed to charge $250 at Nordstrom Rack. There was a new arrival sale and they had all of these uber cheap and uber fierce Diesel jeans. Then, as I was walking out I saw a Deisel watch I just HAD to have. I mean seriously, it was a matter of life or death!

So now like Rihanna, I need to send out an S.O.S. to any of my frugal friends/readers? How do you suggest I rid myself of my shopping addiction? I fear my only way is to avoid stores completely. Although, one I am working part time and I see how little my pay checks are perhaps that will finally make reality sink in. I can only hope so!

Oh, and while I was on Michigan Ave I picked up my copy of Jody Watley's "The Makeover".

It's fantastic! When I first heard Jody was going to revisit some of her old hits I immediately had this horrific vision of that tragic "Body Craptastic" album Sony Records forced Cyndi Lauper to record last year. Well, I was relieved that only three of her 80's songs appeared on the album, along with some VERY clever remakes of Madonna's "Borderline", "Chic's "I Want Your Love", Diana Ross's "Love Hangover", a Carpenter's medley, and a couple original tracks. As a longtime fan of Miss Watley, I was also very happy to see she has not abandoned the musical direction of her past two albums, the Japanese exclusive "Saturday Night Experience" and 2003's "Midnight Lounge". Kudos to Jody for not giving into mainstream trends (or record companies) and doing things her way!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Slutty Brazilian girls are fierce.

OMG...I am sooo getting this girl's album when it comes out even if I have to fly to Rio De Janeiro to find a copy!

Speaking of which, I have been enjoying several Brazilian/Portuguese pop albums at the moment. Listening to music in Portuguese has definitely helped me learn new words. I have decided though that I want to speed things up. I will be taking official Portuguese classes this fall. While I was browsing the internet last week I found out that there is a language school just one block from where I live! How convenient is that! I already spoke with someone regarding prices and times and everything is very reasonable. I am so excited. I really want to be prepared for my trip to Brazil next year. I think I may have already found a travel partner. Now I just need to get my ass in gear and get a passport. Brazil also requires a traveler's visa too. Thank god I have plenty of time to do all of this.

Now I have no regrets about signing my new lease. Despite the commute to school this fall, my apartment downtown still offers so many conveniences I am not ready to live without.......even if they did raise my rent $100! (jerks!)

John Tucker Must..........

....fuck me! And then shoot his load all over me like that Dannii Minogue picture I posted.

I have not done a proper Beefaroni post in quite awhile. Mostly because I haven't really felt the urge to talk about any particular hot guys. Also, I have recently discovered certain porn blogs that make my Beefaroni posts look like fucking Sesame Street. However, I saw the trailer for the new Jesse Metcalfe movie and I must say my interest in this hottie was rekindled.

I mean, how can anyone resist those eyes and that smile......

or that body......

Last year Jesse started to let himself go and his pecs started to look like bitch tits......but he got back in shape for his new movie. The movie itself looks horrible, but I don't want to see it for the story, duh!

Bring on John Tucker.....or shall I call him John Fucker because he can fuck me any day of the week!

Cum On Me

Wow.....the things you find on the internet. Either someone really,really likes Dannii Minogue....or they really hate her! LMAO!!!!!

(and no, I am not responsible for that picture!)

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

iTunes Fierceness

Every few months I like to post some of the hottest club/dance songs I am enjoying at the moment. This allows me a chance to reach out to the less fortunate individuals who otherwise would have no real exposure to such fierceness. Today though, instead of sounding pretentious and reviewing tracks that are either unavailable commercially or very hard to find, I am presenting five songs that can be downloaded right now from the US iTunes store! Some are new...some have been available for awhile, but they all are must haves for your iPod.

Rihanna - "Unfaithful (Tony Moran Club Mix)": Many people were quick to write off Rihanna as a one hit wonder when she debuted last year. Now 4 hit singles later and two Gold albums, the bitch can't be stopped! iTunes FINALLY got the remixes for her most recent Top 10 hit and they are fucking fierce! The Tony Moran club mix is THE mix to have, IMO. This long time hottie/DJ veteran turns this sappy ballad into a thumping hands in the air circuit anthem!

Black Fras - "Moving Into The Light (Freemasons Club Mix)": Who is Black Fras you ask? I don't know and it doesn't matter. All you need to know is that the Freemasons worked their magic yet again! Freemasons are quickly becoming one of the hottest remix/production teams around. Their signature hard disco sound has already given singles by Faith Evans, Heather Headley and Angie Stone much needed dancefloor facelifts. This track, featuring a male vocalist, was released overseas last year but was licensed to a US label this past spring. Unfortunately, there was no cd single released. Thank god for iTunes though, because all of the remixes are available for download. This song will give your day that extra kick!

Sarah Atereth - "Fade Away (Tony Moran Club Mix)": Sarah is one of those moody white girl singers that thinks she has a chance in hell being signed to an independent label. Well, the only impact her music has had in this world is through dance remixes, and "Fade Away" has been a dancefloor staple all this summer, thanks to DJ Tony Moran (he's a busy guy!). Sarah's lush vocals blend melodically with the tribal synths of Tony's production. This is definitely a peak hour circuit anthem!

Ultra Naté - "Love's The Only Drug": Yes folks, the legendary soul/house diva is finally back! She's released a few random singles with various producers since her last album in 2001, but this time it is 100% Ultra as she begins promotion for her upcoming album. The original version of this song (which oddly is not on iTunes, but you can download it for free at Beat Port) is a mellow electro jam. The remixes on iTunes are definitely for those looking for something out of the ordinary and are sick of the screaming diva/circuit anthems. The soul house mix takes things back to the basics and reminds listeners what house music used to be all about back in the day....live instruments and whole lotta soul!

Parisite Hilton - "Turn It Up (Peter Rauhofer Club Mix)" Am I ashamed for recommending a Parasite Hilton song? Most definitely. However, I give credit where credit is due. Parasite makes the most of her "voice" on this song by keeping the lyrics to a minimum. Vocally she sounds like Britney Spears (perhaps they both use the same voice machine?). Paris keeps the song simple and slutty, like any good whore should. She is very smart to enlist the help of the legendary Peter Rauhofer to create one of this years best dancefloor guilty pleasures. It pains me to say this, but this track is fierce.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Freak Fest 2006

Has Market Days always been such a disgusting freak fest? I didn't go last year but I would have sworn in years past it was somewhat enjoyable. I went this Saturday and I was so grossed out by the swarm of scary and grotesque people I had to leave after only an hour. It's quite alarming, but I think many people in this city have forgotten how to properly groom themselves. Yuck. It was like a bad night at Charlie's, but during the day with 100 times more people. It was truly frightening.


Anyhoo, I did enjoy myself at night. I went out with JLDB. It was fun...nothing too spectacular happened except that I saw my Oraganic Chemistry professor! I knew he was gay! I am sure I blogged about how much I struggled in that class. I suspected he was a homo but since I hated him and his class so much and I didn't really spend too much time thinking about it. If only I had known this last year! I could have sucked his dick for an A! What a missed oportunity. he was kinda cute too. I think he may have been Indian because of his accent although he had a very non-Indian sounding last name. Oh well, if I ever see him out again I am going to be sure to let him know his class was fucking bullshit!lol

I went out again on Sunday. I even dared to go to Circuit and was pleasantly surprised to see it wasn't as Nacolicious as it usually is. Thank god! There's nothing worse than paying the $8 cover only to endure two hours of non-stop rancheras or regaeton.

I never made it to the beach. The weather forecast lied and it was really cloudy the whole weekend! Boo!

I did take advantage of my Best Buy gift certificate and went cd shopping! I love going cd shopping and finding a "surprise" release that I didn't know was in stores.

I had no idea this hits collection had been released! Wow, can we say a blast from the past???? I have all of their albums and I always thought they deserved a proper hits collection (despite the fact some people may wrongly accuse them of being one hit wonders). I wish quality compilations came out like this one more often. There are almost 20 tracks with all of their singles, a few random album tracks and some rare b-sides! Woo hoo! Songs like "Jumper" and "Deep Inside Of You" really take me back to my college days in Moo-Town.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Vamos a la playa!

Not only do I have this weekend off, but the weather is going to be perfect for the beach! I have a cute black swimsuit I have been dying to debut on Hollywood Beach all summer. I can't wait. Who wants to help me with my suntan lotion? I don't want to count on asking someone at the beach. As much as I love Hollywood Beach, it is either filled with lots of bulgetastic hotties in speedos....or filled with scary old ass fat motherfuckers in thongs. Generally it is the latter. :(

Regardless of who's at the beach tomorrow, I shall enjoy myself because I am in a good mood. The other day I blogged about the Lab Bitch but today at work I was reminded of the other people I work with who are actually nice. The three Blood Bank techs chipped in and got me gift certificates for Best Buy and Corner Bakery because I am fierce and always help out in their department. Apparently no one else is willing to work in the Blood Bank because of the extra responsibilty that comes with it. One small mistake can have life threatening consequences when it comes to transfusing blood products. I personally am not intimidated by this but others are. Anyhoo, it's nice to feel appreciated at work!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Pink Is The New Underwear

Much to my friend Reni's diappointment, I purchased the pink underwear you see above. I can't wait to wear them! I have never owned pink underwear (just pink speedos). I absolutely love the C-In² brand of underwear. They sit low on the waist so they are perfect with my favorite Diesel jeans, which also sit very low on the waist. However, whatt makes these underwear extra special is the built in Sling Technology. What is "Sling Technology" you ask? Basically, these underwear are like the Wonderbra for men. There is a strap in the pouch that goes around your cock and balls thus pushing them forward and enhancing your bulge! I have noticed that so many briefs have a tendency to diminish bulge size so it is wonderful to find a company that has actually taken the time to reverse this horrid phenomenom. If only all of the problems plaguing the world today could be solved with a built in cock ring!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

My Urban Legends

Have you ever done or said something that was totally taken out of context and years later it continues to come back and haunt you? Now, I am not talking about anything serious here, just silly things. However, even silly things can get old and tired when you still have to hear about them years later. I recently was reminded of some of my own personal "Urban Legends" that I want to finally clear up. Most people reading this won't know what the hell I am talking about but who cares, I just need to vent!

Urban Legend #1
I AM VERY CAPABLE OF WALKING LONG DISTANCES. REALLY. A few years ago I made a comment to my friend that I couldn't drive to the grocery store because the street was closed. My friend immediately began to ridicule me for not being able to WALK the 4 blocks to the store. Before I knew it all of my friends seriously believed I had to drive everywhere....even if my destination was across the street. The problem is, my initial statement had been TOTALLY taken out of context. I had no problem walking. I mean, I go to the gym 4-5 times a week. I am not a lazy person! At the time I would even walk almost 8 blocks to get to certain bars in the area. The thing was it was 100 degress and I needed a SHIT LOAD of groceries. I didn't want to try to walk with 20 bags of food in the excessive heat. So to this day that conversation continues to haunt me. I was speaking with the same friend and I mentioned how I had walked to State Street and he immediately said "oh wow, that is so unlike you. You didn't take a cab?". He was serious too.

Urban Legend #2
With this one, I can't even remember the exact comment. Perhaps there wasn't one and the myth that the CTA frightens me stems from the fact I commute to work by car. Who knows, who cares. The fact is the first year I lived in Chicago I worked downtown. I took the bus or train everyday. Even once I started working in the suburbs I continued to utilize the CTA on my days off because I was SICK of driving. I use the CTA even more so now that I live downtown. There is no way in hell I am parking in Boystown on a weekend so I take the Red or Brown line. If I want to go shopping I take the #151 bus to Michigan Ave. If I want to go to the museum or aqaurium, I take the train. I don't loathe the CTA. I love it. It may not be as efficient as New York's public transportation but it gets me to where I need to go!

Urban Legend #3
My life isn't one continuous episode of "Queer As Folk", as much as I wish it was. I remember when I still lived in Milwaukee and would always talk about sex or porn with the fag hags at my job. Well, such dirty talk earned me the nicknames "sexpot" and "tramp". Mind you I was working full time and going to school full time. In other words, I was in the middle of a 2 year dry spell. Nevertheless these women were convinced I had some crazy life like Brian on "Queer as Folk". When I moved to Chicago one of the ladies kept in touch and would ask me about my "adventures". Well, at that point I finally did have a few stories to tell. My first year in Chicago was what you could call my "slut phase". I was naughty on porches, in bookstores, in clubs/bars, etc. It was fun but all good things come to an end. Three years later though I still seem to have this wild-child-parties-all-night-every-night reputation. I have even had people ask if I do drugs! Jesus Christ, if these people only knew how dull my life is! lol Honestly, if I was anything like Brian Kinney, my excessive drug use, wild sex orgies, and nightly clubbing would have probably prevented my from doing anything constructive with my life and I would be still living at home in Milwaukee working some loser job. Only on TV do people get to be irresponsible and still have a happy life!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Bitter Betty

I really don't know why I am not one of those bitter, jaded and lonely gay men. I mean, after ALL of the men I have dated/fucked/met/etc. there have been only a handful I actually liked. Out of those few, NONE of them were mature, emotionally stable or sane. I think I have mangaed to avoid the Bitter Betty Syndrome by not depending on men to have a successful or happy life. However, I will not deny the fact my optimistic outlook on dating has completely changed since I was 19.

During the week of the gay games I met a nice guy. I emphasize the "nice" part because physically he wasn't my type at all. Sure, he was a decent looking guy, but I wasn't really attracted to him. He was nice though. Did I mention he was nice? Anyhoo, I know anyone who reads this is thinking "Wow, what a shallow bitch". Well, you are right. I am shallow. But I have a reason for being shallow. After many years of bad luck I have come to the conclusion that there are few men worth dating, whether they be ugly or handsome. Therefore, if I am going to waste my time dating one of these losers, he might as well be attractive! It's a double whammy to go on a date with a guy that is a loser AND ugly. Nevertheless, I DID agree to go on a date after talking to him a few times on the phone, but at the last minute I cancelled. We were going to get together on Monday but I just didn't feel like going through with it. I knew it would be just a waste of my time. In fact, I didn't even feel like using him at least for sex either (and trust me I could have!). Condoms and lube aren't cheap so I must use them wisely!

So I guess I may not be a bitter queen, but I have no desire anymore to put forth any effort when it comes to dating unless I think it's going to be good. I'd rather just hang out with a friend......which is exactly what I did. Michel'Le had the day off too so we went to Hamburger Mary's for lunch.

Charlie had blogged about this place awhile back and it sounded interesting. The atmosphere was nice. The food was good too, but a little pricey. I can't comment on the burgers because they had run out of veggie burgers. I ordered a yummy veggie sandwhich though with cheese, avocado, cucumbers, lettuce and tomato. It was yummy! The fries were fierce too. The only bad things were the prices andthe service. Well, the service was nice but our waiter was so friendly to the point that he was annoying. There were moments when I wanted to tell him to leave us the hell alone, but I refrained.

Afterwards we went to Universal Gear. Holy shit! They have a mega sale going on. I really didn't need any clothes but the had a fierce pair of Diesel jeans that were almost $100 off the original price! I love that store. They take the best of all of the major department stores put it under one tiny roof. It really is the only men's clothing sotre worth checking out in Boystown. They even gave me a free tote bag and Project Runway t-shirt! The other shops (ie. Bad Boys) sell such tragic and overpriced SHIT that only Welfare Gays would buy. Eww.....