Monday, November 28, 2005

Won't You Come Inside My Walls?

Saturday I FINALLY had my housewarming party. It was a night filled with drunken homos, trashy music, and thongs. This was the first chance for many of my friends to see my new Whore House. I hope they think it was an improvement on the last shit hole I was living in! The night started out slow when no one could agree on what music to listen or what we were going to watch, but once we ordered pizza and began consuming lots of alcohol things got better! Definitely, one of the highlights of the night was when Fernando suddenly started throwing around these K-mart brand thongs claiming he found them under my bed! I was mortified! I'm a classy bitch and if I am going to wear a thong it's going to be something fierce, like this:

Well, at midnight a few people had to leave. They had worked that day and it was quite obvious they were tired and not exactly in a partying kind of mood (but I was glad they came either way!). That's when things got really rowdy, as you can see in the pictures. We turned the stereo up full blast and began SCREAMING at the top of our lungs the nasty lyrics of Avenue D's songs like "Stick It In"! My Milwaukee Sister even threw down with a special dirty rap in Spanish! The walls in my building must be pretty sound proof since there were no complaints of loud gay men screaming "I don't give a shit, cum on my tits, make me twitch, i'm a dirty bitch!" at 2AM.

After the musical throwdown all of us headed over to some 24hr restaurant in Wicker Park. On the way there poor Jorge had a nasty fall (I hope he's ok!). I was pretty trashed at the restaurant but I remember Rob telling a wiatress she had lice! Oh no! He's such a sweetheart.


Someone was eating too many Cheetos!

And there you have it, one of the infamous thongs........

Last but defintiely not least, I must announce I got my PCAT scores back. My composite score was in the 95th percentile!!!!! Woo hoo! I really need to stop underestimating my abilities. I was so ready to give up because I thought I had done so bad! I practially shit my pants when I saw my score. I finished my personal statement Sunday and submitted my College of Pharmacy application today. This is such a long process, ugh.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I must 'come clean'.

One should never say never! Today I purchased two cd's by two artists I never thought I would ever support...........

I have always considered Shitney Queers the pop music anti-christ since her debut, but to my surprise she has managed to win me over as a fan. Her club remixes are always fierce and even some of her recent non-remixed songs have been good (Breathe On Me, Do Somethin'). This remix album is the PERFECT companion to Madonna's new dancetastic album.

As for Hilary Duff, I was always indifferent, but last week I was listening to clips of her songs on iTunes and I loved them! This is definitely an album I would play in the privacy of my own home. I think I would be too embarrased to blast something like "Come Clean" in my car!

And finally, look what is out on

No, that isn't the movie you are looking at, it's the TV series from the 80's!!!!!!! This was one of my favorite tv shows as a kid! In 4th grade I even started a "War Of The Worlds" fan club. I was such a dork that my friends and I would even stay inside during recess so we could reenact scenes from the show! God I was such a freak even when I was 9! lol

if you haven't seen the TV, but did see the recent Steven Spielberg movie, you should check this out. The special effects weren't great, but the stories were quite strong and entertaining. Too bad Paramount ruined it in the second season.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

St. Nick will keep me warm this winter.

St. Nicholas Gonzalez that is! Grrrr.....I got the latest issue of People En Español the other day and began to drool upon seeing an article featuring the delicious and very handsome actor Nicholas Gonzalez. Yum, he's beefaroni! His website is fabulous and filled with tons of shirtless pictures! It's about time a male celebrity realizes his fans want to see some skin.

I know there are some nude pictures of him floating around the internet but they are of the artsy fartsy nature which is a bit of a turn off. I wonder if he has ever gotten nude for a movie......

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

If You Buy This Record Your Life Will Be Better


Buy the fucking record.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Bathroom Graffiti

There is nothing more interesting than entering a public bathroom, going into the stall and reading all of the graffiti while going #2. Some people enjoy reading a newspaper or perhaps the latest issue of Newsweek, but I am mesmerized by all of the obscenities, racial slurs, sexual propositions, vulgar drawings and random phone numbers written on the bathroom stall. Of course, the fun ends when I find my own telephone number or name on the bathroom wall. I have a reputation to take care of! lol

Nevertheless there seem to be a couple recurring themes in bathroom graffiti, has anyone else noticed these?

1. The bi-curious white male looking for a big black cock to rape his virgin ass. Are white bi-curious men unaware that we have for these types of things. Silly faggots!

2. "I hate niggers!" Well, gee that's nice. Such a strong statement, yet you only had the guts to make it hidden in a bathroom stall while taking a shit. Tsk tsk.

3. The multiple drawings of male and female genitalia Do people need to draw a diagram before accessing their own private parts in order to properly use the bathroom? I don't get it.

4. Political debates. Um, why in the world does a smelly, shit filled toilet prompt individuals to begin serious discussions about the current political situation in the US? hmmm....perhaps they immediately associate George W Bush with a big turd of crap? that would be the ONLY logical explanation for that one.

5. Wise guys who wrote jokes on the bathroom walls I suspect this is a ploy to overcome constipation. You laugh so hard you just lose all control of your bowels.....problem solved! i must say the funniest thing I ever saw written was a picture of a Taliban/Osama bin Laden guy wearing a long tunic and a turban on his head. The caption underneath read "1000 years in the middle east and still the same fucking clothes."

Happy flushing!

Friday, November 11, 2005

When life gives you lemons..........

....make lemonade! Unless you don't like lemonade. Then I guess you are just FUCKED!

tee hee, I love that picture of Shitney

But as I was saying.........I have always lived by the motto "Expect nothing but the worst in life and you will never be disappointed!". You see, it's when we expect good things to happen and we disillusion ourselves. Things don't go as planned and we are left with a big pile of shit to clean up. Unfortunately for one of the few times in my life I have not expected the worst and now I am paying for it.....

I never thought I would say this but this semester at school is kicking my ass and I feel like I simply cannot catch up. Things started off on a good note. I did well on all of my first exams, but then between my move, the stress of the PCAT, and all of my fucking extra curricular activities I found myself behind in everything. The past two exams I have taken in both of my classes have not gone well. And I took another one yesterday and it probably went even worse! I still have time to redeem myself during my final exams in one month, but I am still praying these classes have a really nice grading curve. So, this rough semester has reminded me once never to get too comfortable. A bumpy ride is always just around the corner.

So to avoid further disappointment I have started to concot a "Plan B" just in case my academic plans go haywire next year. If I am not accepted to any pharmacy schools next fall, I am quitting my job, living off of student lonas and going to continue taking some extra undergraduate courses at UIC, take a PCAT prep course, retake the PCAT and maybe work with one of the biology professors' research projects.....

Ok, moving on to more noteworthy things, has anyone heard of Beat Port Digital Download Network? Omigod! it's is like an all dance/club/house/electro music store similar to iTunes, except it doesn't matter what country you live in! I just discovered this site last night and I already found 10 fierce and hard to find current club/house songs that are otherwise only available on vinyl. The only drawback is the prices aren't cheap like iTunes. Depending if a song is new and "exclusive" or not, you can pay anywhere from $1.49-$2.99. None of the tracks I downloaded were over $2, but it was worth it. Also, unlike iTunes you can actually stream the entire song on your computer BEFORE purchasing it. I hate only being able to hear a 30 second clip on iTunes.

I wish getting music was always so simple, but unfortunately I still like to purchase actual cd's by the artists I like the most. So here is my current wishlist. I am tempted to just order these online but I am hoping within the next two weeks I can make it to Tower Records.

The Brit-Pop bug has bit me again. This former S Club 7 singer has got one of the hottest pop albums out this year! She has the personality though of a doorknob though when she sings, but the material on the album is 'so good' I can overlook that! I have the album downloaded but I want the CD/DVD version with the bonus tracks

I have no shame, lol. Ricky tries to be ghetto. Whatever. I am anxiously awaiting the Dual Disc of this to come out Nov. 22nd!

yes, ANOTHER Blondie Greatest Hits. But this one comes with some rare tracks/remixes and a DVD!!!!!! Woo hoo! Everything is digitally remastered too. I know a certain someone who will like this one, even though he won't admit it........

Monday, November 07, 2005

Don't Rush Me!

As I was listneing to Taylor Dayne's "Don't Rush Me" (remember her? the original Anastacia?) I began to think about how I am always rushing or in a hurry. In fact, it seems like the entire city of Chicago is in one big rush to get somewhere. I am not sure where the final destination is but to get in someone's way is taking the risk of being cursed out or even worse. Why is that? I too often find myself in a frantic rush, whether it be in the car, walking, or at a store, and to be quite honest, sometimes I don't even know why I am rushing. Sometimes I have nowhere to even be yet it it is a natural instinct to speed on the expressway or knock some old bitch out of my way that is going too slow in the cereal aisle at the grocery store. Slow old people drive me nuts. But is the 5 seconds of time I save by pushing them out of the way going to benefit me? Will driving 65mph instead of 55mpg make that big of a difference, especially when I don't have anywhere to be?

I suspect this phenomenom is not exclusive to Chicago only. It may simply be a side effect of living in any large metropolitan area. When I was in in San Juan this past summer I noticed things are the exact opposite. Everyone takes their time. No rushing, no impatience. It was almost surreal. Even at Booger King, the lady who was getting my tostones (yes! the Booger Kings in Puerto Rico serve tostones instead of onion rings!) took so long I was wondering if she had gone to the mountains and picked the plátanos herself, lol. I didn't mind the tranquility of San Juan and not feeling rush, but I fucking expect fast food to be FAST! What the fuck.

Anyhoo, this past weekend I was almost involed in a terrible car accident because of people's need to rush in this city. It was raining like Hurrican Katrina Saturday night when I left work. Mostly everyone was driving 40mph on the expressway since it was impossible to see. Well, some motherfucking idiot who probably thought he was being cool, passed everyone going 90mph. Needless to say he lost control of his car and crashed into 5 other cars. Nice. Luckily he crashed into everyone ahead of me so I had time to brake and avoid the mess. I was very disappointed when the guy got out of his car unhurt. I know this sounds terrible but I was hoping he would at least have a few borken bones. Reckelss bastards like that need to learn their lesson. I hope the people he crashed into sue the fuck out of him.

well, enough seriousness for now. I need some Beefaroni!! I have two tasty specimens today. Both are Puerto Rican, both are "Michael", both are singers, both are uber hot and neither one has a typical hispanic last name......

Michael Stuart and Michael Deiss

I have a bad habit of buy a cute boy singer's cd simply because i think he looks hot on the cover. Fortunately, both of these cute boy singers actually had good music too! I wish I could say the same about Eduardo Verastegui's album ,lol. That was awful, and he wasn't even shirtless in any of the pictures :(

Ok, I must 'hurry' off now to release some pressure after posting all of these pictures :)=

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Dancefloor Confessionist

Madonna has leaked! And no, I'm not referring to her vaginal discharge.........

Madonna's latest album, Confessions On A Dancefloor has leaked onto the internet. I was fortunate enough to hear clips of theses songs. Madonna said she wanted to make an album that would make people "jump out of their seats", and she does just that! "Get Together", "Jump", "Sorry", "Isaac", and "Let It Will Be" are the stand out tracks for me and had me jumping around my apartment. I am sorry to reprt though that inspite of the fun album Madonna wanted to record, she did sneak in yet another song about what a horrible bitch she was when she was younger ("Push"). Ugh. Ok, we get it, being a mother has changed you, bla bla bla. Well, at least there isn't another song about her dead mother.

The picture above is a from her latest video. A video that just boggles my mind. Madonna really seems out of touch with reality when it comes to her fan base. Umm.....anyone who saw all of the ghetto children jamming in the "Hung Up" video know what I am talking about. um, hello. These people are listening to Eminem or 50 Cent, not Madonna's latest disco tune! (uh oh, I hope I don't get a bunch of hate comments for making a stereotype like that, but you know it's true! lol)

Madonna really seems to be making a comeback a la Mariah Scarey. "Hung Up" has already debuted at #20 on Billboard's Hot 100. Quite impressive considering her last album was for the most part ignored by radio and the public. Which is another thing I must ask. Was I the only person who actually liked "American Life"? There were some really beautiful ballads on that album that were unfortunately ignored because people were too busy complaining about the horrible lyrics of "I'm So Stupid" or the embarrassing rap in the title track. Oh well.........

But enough about Madonna. What I really wanted to write about was my own dancefloor confession.

Have you ever done something uber slutty or scandalous on a dancefloor? Like jack some guy off until he came in your hand?Or perhaps it was something that began on a dancefloor but was finished elsewhere? That's my case....

About two years ago I was waiting for a "date" to arrive at a bar. He was running late so I started talking to this other hot guy I always used to see around. Well, one thing led to another while we were on the dancefloor and I suggested we go back to my apartment. At the time I only lived a few blocks from the bar so I figured I had plenty of time for a quickie and still be able to return to the bar to meet my original date. Well, me and this guy couldn't wait to get to my apartment. We were walking down the street and couldn't keep our hands to ourselves. So we ended up fucking on someone's doorstep. I came on the "welcome" mat and threw the condom in the bushes when I was done. Yes, I was a dirty whore. Not to mention it was just terrible for me to litter like that! lol

It feels so good to confess. I hope I can find something new to confess about this winter......