Friday, October 31, 2008

Candy and Cocktails

I feel like this past week has just been one non-stop roller coaster ride with no chance to take a rest! I finally caught up on my sleep today, which is good considering I have many Halloween festivities. A friend of Mario's sent us an invitation to a Halloween party last month. I initially had to work and was afraid I might not be able to attend but since the host of the party was so kind to give his guests ample notice I was able to switch days with a co-worker. I'm so excited because last year I didn't do anything for Halloween and simply told people I was dressed as an undercover cop!

Last week I was invited to a cocktail/dinner party at a friend's new condo. It was a small group yet we managed to finished off a few bottles of Patron. I barely remember getting home that night. It was quite lovely! I hadn't been that intoxicated in quite awhile!

My work and school schedule carried right through to the Madonna "Sticky And Sweet" tour at the United Center!

I simply had to pose next to that car. It was just so tacky! I loved it!
Anyhoo, as for the concert, I had refrained from reading any reviews before hand so I wouldn't spoil the experience. I have seen the past 4 Madonna tours now and I must say this was my favorite! The show was without a doubt the most visually stimulating of any Madonna show in the past, partly due to the fancy screens in the back and one that hovered over the catwalk. It made for some great "duets"!

The set list featured mostly songs from the new album, but there were plenty of oldies but goodies to keep everyone happy.....well, except for the people in my section. Apparently I had purchased tickets in the "Boring Old White Straight Couples" section. It was so weird to see the entire United Center going crazy and then to look around in front and behind me at the lifeless elderly people. Maybe their hearing aids weren't turned on to hear the show? Hmmm.....oh well! I had great seats nevertheless.

The only part of the show that I thought was absolutely atrocious was this folkloric section. Many of the old songs Madonna performed were sung with new musical arrangements. For the most part this worked quite well, especially the "Like A Prayer" and "Vogue" performances, BUT for "La Isla Bonita" she came out with some bootleg Gypsy Kings and mutilated that songs beyond recognition. Fortunately she redeemed herself when she performed "You Must Love Me". Madonna doesn't have the greatest voice but I appreciate the fact that she must do some vocal training before every tour so she can pull off at least one ballad!

Oh, and the dancing was amazing. I think Madonna is getting too skinny but if you saw the workout she does on stage it's no wonder she is built like a G.L.O.W. girl! lol

Friday, October 24, 2008

Amaurylicious Beefaroni

So this past week has been rather busy for me trying to juggle school and personal obligations. In the next two weeks I have a zillion different projects and exams to worry about and the timing couldn't be worse. I have yet to get a Halloween costume and it looks like I am going to have to just pick one Halloween party to go to because I simply won't have time to party three days in a row! Tomorrow I am going with My Boo to pick out my costume. Mario wants to wear something scandalous that shows alot of skin but I told him I prefer something a bit more conservative. Besides, if we end up at the annual Halloween Parade I don't want to be freezing outside!

Speaking of My Boo, he took me to the movies last night to see Max Payne and the both of us concluded that Amaury Nolasco is total beefaroni! Grrrr! Neither one of us had ever really paid much attention to him before but if we ever have a threesome he will be definitely one of our first picks!

Earlier this week I also attended Sidetrack's yearly "Night of 100 Drag Queens" charity event. I had a blast! My favorite part had to be the Hilary Clinton impersonator that pretended to call Obama and bursted into Kelis's "Caught Out There" (I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW! AHHHHH!) LOL. And naturally, there were SEVERAL Sarah Palin drag queens too! Here are a few pics for your viewing pleasure......

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Verizon in the PALM of my hand.

Well, my Boo and I severed ties with the Satan Cock Suckers aka AT&T and purchased our new phones, the Palm Centro, with Verizon. I am particularly excited about this phone because not only is it Mac compatible but there are so MANY more applications I can use on it (as a pharmacy student/future PharmD) compared to the iPhone. The iPhone is pretty and being a fan of Apple I probably would have gotten one had I stayed with AT&T. However, when I was doing my research before making the switch I started to realize that the services and applications a future pharmacist like myself would be utilizing required a Palm Smartphone. I also began to question the iPhones practicality. It seems to be a computer first and a phone second (many owners I know have made this observation) so perhaps for my purposes this is the one time an Apple product wasn't the best choice for me. I will definitely have to reevaluate the situation once my 2-year Verizon contract ends. For now though, I am going to have fun playing with premium editions of ePocrates, Lexicomp, and Micromedex! Woo hoo!

And did I mention the best part? This super expensive phone was totally FREE with my contract! yaynus in the anus!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Sweetest Day

Well this Saturday is Sweetest Day but my Boo and I decided to start the celebration early. Mario bought me the most lovely balloon as a token of his love. I insisted we pose for a picture but right when the camera flashed the balloon floated in front of Mario's face so you can't see him in the picture. Trust me though, he was looking especially handsome!
Other than that, me and my Boo are about to get new matching cell phones! Yes I know, how grossly romantic but what can I say, our relationship is one of a kind!

So in anticipation of Sweetest Day, I leave you with the lovely and divalicious Vanessa Williams singing her 90's soccer mom anthem ballad, "The Sweetest Days".

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I'm NOT CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember what I hated the most about being a little kid. No one ever believed me and my opinions were never taken seriously by adults. You see, I was a smart kid and always knew what the fuck I was talking about so it was extra frustrating knowing that my words were always going to fall on deaf ears until I turned 18. I distinctly recall on several occasions trying to explain to grown ups (mostly teachers, counselors and employers) that my mother was a crazy bitch. No one ever believed me. They thought I was exaggerating or perhaps I was the crazy one. My fucking psycho mother would use this to her advantage too. She knew no one was going to believe me so when she would find out I was trying to expose all her dirty secrets she would tell the people that I was horrible problem child that was completely out of control and she was "so concerned" I was going to end up mixed with the wrong crowd. So in the end my desperate pleas for help always backfired and I found myself agreeing with school counselors that I was bad bad son and I need to change because my mommy loves me sooo much.

Do you know how fucking frustrating it is to have to go along with the my mother's made up stories simply because I knew there was no point in arguing otherwise? I guess that just goes to show how smart I really was. lol

Anyhoo, my post really isn't about my bizarre childhood with Mommie Dearest. I'm old now and could give two shits about that. I got bigger fish to my fucking impending divorce from AT&T

This entire year my cell phone service has been plagued with dropped phone calls and the inability to even dial at times when calling from my home/neighborhood. I have called each time and the same thing has happened. The technical support person acts like I am making this up or that it is JUST my phone and not a problem with their service in my area. I explain to them my phone works just fine when I am in the suburbs. Finally I convince them to look into it and then a few days later they call me back and admit there was indeed a problem with the tower in the area. Unfortunately the tower breaks again and I have to call and go through this shit ALL FUCKING OVER AGAIN! What's worse is that with each subsequent tower failure I face increasing resistance from the technical support people to the point they will fucking lie and tell me that there is no problem in my area and it must be my phone. DO THEY NOT FUCKING THINK I REMEMBER THE LAST 10 TIMES THIS HAPPENED AND THEY ADMITTED THE FAULT WAS THEIRS AND OTHER CUSTOMERS IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD WERE CALLING AND COMPLAINING????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??! What was really worse was when even my friends started to ask "Are you sure this isn't just a problem with your phone"? No one was believing me despite the fact all evidence points to AT&T and their shitty network. I suddenly felt like the little 11 year old boy sitting in the counselor's office nodding my head in agreement that I was the spawn of Satan because I knew that's exactly what my fucking mother had told the asshole.

So this week I have reached my limit. I called to terminate my contract. Of course they gave me the same run around and to try to calm me down they cut my bill in half. They promised that the problem would be resolved by today.

They lied.

So I am switching to Sprint this Thursday. I had been planning to get an iPhone if I had stayed with At&T but apparently Sprint has a pretty good copy cat version. I am not sure if I will be keeping the same phone number. Maybe that's for the best. My new boyfriend Mario doesn't like the fact I still get random text messages from old FB's.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Mario and Me, Sitting in a Tree....


So now that I have a pretend boyfriend, I decided I might as well make him as hot as I can possibly imagine. So here you have him folks. Yes, that is my pretend boyfriend you will hear me bragging about..........Mario! Now, I will not seriously be telling people I am dating THE Mario Lopez. I need to make this somewhat believable, but I have picked a name for my pretend boyfriend and "Mario" seems to be absolutely perfect! I think tonight Mario and I are going to go out for a few drinks. You see, it's his birthday today and I want to treat my boo to a night out on the town.....and then finish it off with a hot and steamy birthday celebration at home! Ironically, my new boyfriend's birthday is the same day as his namesake, the real Mario Lopez! What a coincidence!

So I say let's forget for a second that the stock market is crashing, children are starving in Africa, and that Sarah Palin is an ugly cunt face bitch that can't say "nuclear", so that we can rejoice the day the Lord gave this world the Love of Mario!

Monday, October 06, 2008

Haemophilus Influenzae

Haemophilus Influenzae is a common bacterial pathogen involved in all sorts of lower and upper respiratory infections. By the sound of its name you would think it is what causes the flu. This is not the case. It got its name because it's often a secondary infection in people who get a really bad case of the flu. In other words one illness paves the way for another one to be established. Fun stuff, huh? But what does that have to do with anything? Well, while flu season is slowly approaching us, the real reason I bring up this bacteria today is because like my last post alluded, I tend to be a very science oriented individual and that is often how I relate all sorts of situations in life.

Another recent post found me discussing the sudden influx of unwanted sexual solicitors. Since that post the propositions have continued to flood my cell phone, Yahoo messenger and myspace to the point that I had to resort to lying and telling these people I currently have a boyfriend and am no longer single. The whole situation, while as funny as it may sound, suddenly had me reflecting on all sorts of other things directly and not so directly related to obnoxious booty calls. Since when did I, Mr. Sexbox, become so turned off by casual sex? I'm not sure I can pin point the exact date but it was definitely this summer. And it isn't so much the casual sex that is turning me off but with my graduation and 30th birthday next year I see my life heading in a very different direction. This direction most definitely involves a serious relationship. Now, I realize the quality of gay men is lacking and whether I have a long list of fuck buddies or not won't change that. However, if I want myself to be "dateable" in the next year I need to ditch the fuck buddies NOW.

I think a lot of gay men fall into this trap. They want sex on a regular basis so they make sure hook ups are plentiful and readily accessible at any given moment. The problem comes when you meet that person that is total boyfriend material. You hesitate to let go of all of the fuck buddies due to fear of finding yourself in the middle of a dry spell should the "total boyfriend material" guy turn out to be a loser after all. The distraction of the fuck buddies definitely makes it impossible to invest yourself 100% in this potential serious relationship. Subsequently the relationship fails to develop and you find yourself back with the fuck buddies. I have been in this situation before but looking back I realize I held onto the fuck buddies because I knew the person I was "dating" really wasn't boyfriend material but I just didn't want to admit it.

So I say goodbye to my fuck buddies but not necessarily casual sex. I'm by no means becoming a prude. If Mario Lopez knocks on my door you can bet he can sit on my face faster than you can say "Saved By The Bell"! I am also reestablishing a distinct line between friends and lovers. That's another thing that has become increasingly worrisome for me. Years ago sleeping with a friend was not something I would have ever considered. Now I look around and realize I have had sex with a couple friends........and there a few more that have made suggestive comments that they want to in the near future. No thanks!

Speaking of friends, I am afraid I not only find myself out growing the fuck buddies but also several friends. I suppose that's a natural process of life. Some people grow with you and some don't, but as I turn 30 next year I can honestly say it is going to be extremely hard for me to relate to people my age or older who are still living their lives like they were 19. I was speaking to a friend (who happens to be older) the other day and there was something that he said that was just so disturbing and sad that I really had to bite my tongue from asking him if he was joking.

Isn't it funny how one text message from an old fuck buddy started all of this?

So now I tackle the issue of having an imaginary boyfriend. I am going to have to think of a name for him, place of origin, where I met him, etc. just in case people start asking me questions. Geez, even an invisible boyfriend is time consuming!