Saturday, February 24, 2007


I think in the past 6 months I have surprised even myself by my capacity to understand and help people with their issues (regardless of the severity). I can safely say I have probably been more understanding and non-judgemental about certain situations than the average joe. However there comes a time when you realize you can only care so much. Some people's issues are just too big and they themselves need to deal with them. It's at that point that you just have cut your losses and move on because there is nothing left to do.

Needless to say I cut my losses and have decided it's best to let a certain situation go. I have done my best and can't do anymore......nor do I desire to do anymore.

Until we meet again.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Fat Blonde Tuesday

Ok, so I will admit I had a total blonde moment in my last post as I pondered the reason behind Sidetrack's Mardi Gras celebration on a Tuesday night. I swear I know what "Fat Tuesday" is. I guess I just expect these sorts of things in the middle of the week.

Needless to say though I had fun. There were 7 performances by local dancers (JQ was one of them) depicting the 7 deadly sins. Um, can we say the perfomances were hot! I think everyone was getting a bit aroused, or maybe that was just me? Anyhoo, in between performances I walked around and mingled with crowd. My homegirl Wanda was a bit late in showing up so I had to work my social skills as I waited. Once he arrived I decided it was time to spice things up. I was driving that night AND I had to be at school the next day at 10am so I couldn't get drunk. However I showed my Mardi Gras spirit by getting body painted! Sidetrack brought in some artist guy who was airbrushing colorful designs on anyone who wanted one. So here I am before my transformation acting silly.....

and after.....

Someone was telling me who the painter guy was....the son of some famous Chicagoian, but I forget who. Either way I thought he did a fierce job! I could stop lauging though as he painted me. It was very cold and it tickled. I think I was causing a scene because during the body painting process I noticed some strangers taking pictures of me with their cell phones, lol.

Well, the performances ended at midnight. JQ finally was able to come out and say hi. One of his friends happily took a picture of my homegirl Wanda and I before we had to leave.

Both Wanda and I agreed it was nice to get out for a change during the week. I know I have felt like lately my life consists of nothing but school, work and sleep. I think I need to find time to enjoy myself like this a little more often. It really de-stressed me!

Monday, February 19, 2007

Quit Jacking Off (To My Heart)

Something today made me remember how back in 1997 I used to masturbate everytime I watched the Backstreet Boys' video "Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)" (well, asuming I was in the privacy of my own home and I didn't have company over)Seriously. This video was just as vital to my auto-sex life as anyone of my Kristen Bjorn pornos at the time. I always made sure I climaxed right around 3:44 when Howie is totally shirtless and just working them nipples for the camera! Grrrr! I will admit that Nick was a bit of wood kill so I generally looked away from the screen whenever they focused on him. It's a shame at how ugly they got after this video. AJ overdid it with tatoos and lost too much weight, Howie's hair progressively got nappier and nappier and Kevin just got fat and old.

Today feels like a heatwave compared to the past month's temperatures. I love it! It may have only been 40 degrees but as far as I was concerned it felt like 80. I was outside without a jack even. It felt great!

Final exam week has arrived. I haven't been stressed because I was smart and didn't procrastinate. I am all caught up with studying. In fact, tomorrow evening I am going to an ICHP seminar in the suburbs on challenges of HIV/AIDS drug therapy facing clinical pharmacists in 2007. After the seminar I am going to head to Boystown for Sidetrack for their annual "Mardi Gras" extravaganza. I am not sure why they do this on a Tuesday but I think it will be fun :)

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Blah Blah Blah

For awhile now there has been something I have been wanting to talk about. Unfortunately because of the subject matter I didn't think there was anyone I could talk to.....or at least that is what I thought until tonight when I was reminded that some friends will always be there to lend an ear to really, truly listen without prejudice. That person knows who I am referring to.

Thank you! :)

Friday, February 16, 2007

Is it Spring yet?

I don't mind the extreme weather we experience here in the Midwest. However after 2 weeks of practically zero degree weather and then a week filled with a shit load of snow I can honestly say I am fucking sick of Winter. The mere thought of going outside makes me cringe with fear.

I am almost over my cold. It's amazing how much mucus the human body can produce. It's also amazing how many different colors it can come in. Red, green, magenta, yellow, white, clear, taupe, hot pink. Blowing my nose has never been so colorful!

Ugh, New York got rid of Rico!!!! Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess I can't blame her though. He didn't really seem to try hard enough to get her attention and although he was super hot and seemed like a total sweetheart, he really was a wallflower for most of the show. Rico, if you are reading this I just want you to know that I can do everything New York can and more! I'll give you the lovin' you need! Muah!

Final exams are coming up next week. I feel very prepared so I am not too worried. After that I have a week off from work and school. I WILL be getting drunk one of those days. Oooh, i need to also start planning my b-day extravaganza. 28 is patiently awaiting me.........

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Happy VD

I'm a little early with this one but I don;t fucking care :)

It's funny how many people abreviate Valentine's Day as "VD" without realizing that also means "veneral disease". Or perhaps that's exactly why they refer to it that way, lol. I suppose the two could go hand in hand under the right (wrong) circumstances!

Anyhoo, I am wishing everyone a happy Velntine's Day tomorrow, whether you have a valentine or not. I haven't had a valentine on Valentine's Day since.......oh, since 1999? yeah it's been awhile but what can I say. Being single hasn't made me bitter! One of these days I'll find my media naranja.

To commemorate this day I want to list some of my favorite "love" songs. Ok, now I know I have never been in love but I have experienced that giddy, butterflies in stomach feeling before after meeting a cute boy. Whenever such a thing happens I always have a few certain songs going through my head. They say music is the soundtrack of our lives so I guess if my life was a movie these songs would be taken from the first "boy meets boy" scene. :)=

Veronica - "I'm In Love"

Yes, this is a cover of the 80's Evelyn Champagne King song but I like Veronica's version better. Veronica was the "Jennifer Lopez that could sing". She emerged in the mid/late 90's with two flop RnB albums. This song, from her secongd album, particularly struck a chord with me and everytime I have fun date I am humming this song all the way home afterwards.

OV7 - "Tus Besos"

Yes, this song is cheesy as fuck but I think it captures that cheesy feeling you get after that first kiss with someone you like...don't you think?

C+C Music Factory - "I Found Love"

This song dates back to my teen years before I even experienced a real real crush, but it has remained a favorite this whole time.

Hilary Duff - "Beat Of My Heart"

This is probably the most recent addition to my "love songs". What can i say, I have the heart of a teenage girl, lol. I think this song beats the cheese level of OV7's song but I think Hilary captures that feeling you get when your heart is racing a mile a minute when you finally meet that one cute boy.

Moenia - "Llegaste A Mi"

Moenia generally doesn't do love songs, but I guess this was an exception. Ironically this song came out right around the time I started dated this guy a few years back. I burned the cd for him and he really thought this song was somehow a "message" that I was meant to find him. Um yeah, we broke up 4 weeks later, lol. Either way I understood what he meant. it's a great song for when you met someone awesome after a particulary disasterous string of previous losers.

Belanova - "Tus Ojos"

Awww...this song just makes me feel all warm and gooshy inside. Belanova really captures that high you get when you are infatuated.

Janet Jackson - "Everytime"

Believe it or not but there was once a time when Janet could sing about something other than her pussy. This is probably my favorite ballad of hers. She captures that fear you can have sometime when you do fall head over heels for someone but aren't really sure if it's going to being another heartbreak. I can relate to that one especially.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

¿Sophie, qué hiciste?

There hasnn't been much new music to get exicted about so far in 2007. This is a good thing since it helps me stick to my budget. This will all be changing very soon because there are two new songs that I am obsessed with and I am looking forward to the full length albums.

Sophie Ellis-Bextor - "Catch You"

Sophie is one of the most beautiful and classiest female pop singers of our era. Her debut album back in 2001 was a worldwide smash but the she suffered a sophomore slump in 2003. She took some time off to have a baby last year and it looks like she is ready to conquer the world again with her sophisticated pop attitude. I fucking love this song!!!!! I mean, what's not to love about an unapologetic psycho stalker singing to her victim?

Jennifer Lopez - "Que Hiciste"

J-lo goes back to her roots...literally! When was the last time we saw her with such dark hair? The "That's The Way Love Goes" video"? On "In Living Color"? Who knows but I love it. I also love the fact she is returning to her pop roots and leaving behind all of that rent-a-rapper pseudo hip hop crap (not counting her fabulous and fierce duets with LL Cool J of course) that ruined her last two albums. All I need to know is that we are getting a "Waiting For Tonight Part 2" and J-lo will have redeemed herself as far as I am concerned.

As for me, I am still boogerfied with this nasty cold. I had no choice but to work today because i need the money!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Vera De Milo and Football

So I hear the Chicago Bears lost the world series or something like that. I guess they didn't make enough goals? Oh well, I really could care less. I am not afraid to admit I am a stereotypical homo that doesn't care about sports. Well, that is a little bit of a lie. I did enjoy seeing parts of last years World Cup only because I had crushes on some of the players. But you know what, my lack of interest in sports I think has more to do with the fact I wasn't allowed to play them as a child and not because I am a big old fag. I personally think sports are super homoerotic and if I had the slightest clue as to what was going on I would enjoy them. However I was kept locked inside my house most of my childhood so that interest in sports most boys develop didn't happen. I bring this up because the other day at school one of the few hot guys at school seriously asked me if I wanted to play some football with him and some other guys.


I stalled for a moment because I was not sure how to respond. I mean, don't get me wrong, I thought it was a very nice gesture. I go to a small private university but it can be a little cliquey sometimes. I genuinely appreciated the invitation. So I politely declined saying I wasn't feeling well, which was actually the truth. I stayed home from school today because I have a nasty cold. I am so congested I sound like Jim Carey's steroid loving character "Vera De Milo" from his days on Fox's "In Living Color" (see video below).

I am drugged up on lots of Nyquil right now. I need to get!

Monday, February 05, 2007

G'day Mate!

I had a fun weekend despite the fact it was so motherfucking cold! On Friday I was invited to Yesenia's "Fag Hag Baby Shower" at Bucca on North Clark. Oooh, thay have got some fierce eggplant parmigana! Afterwards I had a few drinks with my Milwaukee Sister and Rob. Since I was already in Boystown I figured I would stay out. They went home but another friend of mine texted me that he would be at Hydrate. Well, the bastard stood me up but that was ok because I am very good at socializing even when I am left at a club by myself looking like a friendless loser. lol.

To be quite honest the place was dead and I was about to leave until these two cute Australian boys, Anthony and Brandon started talking to me. I LOVED the accents and as you can all imagine I couldn't wait to start asking them about my favorite Australian diva.......Dannii Minogue

Well, Anthony told me Australia has a love/hate relationship with Dannii. When she puts out a good pop single they like her.....but otherwise the tabloids constantly trash her for being "plastic" and "living in Kylie's shadow". I was horrified to hear that my diva is treated so horribly in her native country! How can such injustice be allowed? *sob*

Well, we went to Sidetrack where Anthony met some guy (in other words that's the last we heard from him the rest of the night, lol), and Brandon continued to get drunk. He got so drunk that he ended up taking off his pants and underwear in the middle of the bar and then putting his underwear on the bartender's head!!! OMG. I think everyone's mouth just dropped! I couldn't stop laughing! I had such a fun time with Brandon that I went bar hopping with him Saturday night too. The boy was a total trip!

My new Australian friends had to leave Chicago on Sunday. They are actually living in Toronto right now. Apparently they drove and it only took 10 hours. I didn't realize Toronto was so close. Hmmmm...perhaps a road trip to Canada is in store this summer?

One final thing.....these boys couldn't stop talking about Oprah! They were so dissapointed they couldn't go see a taping. I thought it was so cute that Oprah Winfrey has made Chicago famous even in Australia! I am not an Oprah fan but what the hell, it's Black History so in honor of that and my new Aussie Buddies here you go!

Sunday, February 04, 2007


I think I am a work in progress that is constantly evolving. Perhaps this personal evolution isn't so obvious to the casual observer but it is indeed occurring. For the most part this process is intentional. However, sometimes a change takes place that I didn't anticipate. It just happened. I guess that's a part of getting older and realizing things don't stay the same forever. We suddenly find ourselves realizing we are in fact not the same person we were a few years ago. A chapter has ended and a new one has started, so to speak. Unfortunately that transition between chapters can be a bit abrupt and it takes an awkward experience to figue this out. Life can be funny that way.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

"I Ain't Been Licked"

"Keep a holding me down
But I rise
Got my second wind
Keep a holding me down
But I rise
Tell 'em I'm back again

Just say
I ain't been licked
I ain't been licked
I ain't been licked
Tell 'em for me
I ain't been licked"

Diana Ross truly is the ultimate diva. Not only does she always look absolutely fabulous (even when she is getting arrested for drinking and driving or fondling Lil' Kim's boobie) but her music is timeless and quite inspirational!

Although I will admit I am not particularly fond of Diana's newest album, her extensive back catalogue always knows how to touch me in the morning. I mean, everytime I hear "Missing You", her 80's classic tribute to Marvin Gaye, (who she ironically didn't get along with in real life), I can't resist the desire to find my biggest afro wig, put on a sparkly, tacky sequin dress and flail my arms around dramatically as I mime in front of the mirror mirror the lyrics. As you can see, I am celebrating Miss Ross's return to the Top 40 this week with a week long iPod playlist extravaganza. This week I want to work that body to Diana's greatest hits!

The song lyrics I quoted above, "I Ain't Been Licked", appropriately describes how I am feeling right now. The start of the new year was like living in the middle of a battlefield but I ain't been licked just yet. No sir! I was feeling frustrated not only because of the absence of family financial support but simply because of my lack of family period. Everyone in my immediate family is dead and as for my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins)I've had very little (if any) contact with them for years. Let's just say they aren't classy folks. But you know what.......I think it's all been for the better. Not having a family for any type of support, whether it be financial or emotional, has probably made me the strong, independent, resilient and resourceful individual that I am. I look at some people who receive unconditional support from their families and I can't help but wonder if perhaps that support has done more harm than good. Perhaps the coddling has been more of a hindrance that has kept them from realizing their full potential. Yes, I am tooting my own horn today but isn't that what any good diva would do? Diana Ross hasn't had a platinum record in over 20 years....that hasn't stopped her from ever losing her diva attitude! Case in point:

Needless to say I have worked the system to my advantage and WILL have money to pay for tuition next year. Life is grand! I have not been swept away by my problems or been left upside down by the stress that had me workin' ovetime. I'm coming out this weekend to start a chain reaction of celebration cuz life showed me who was the!