Tuesday, May 29, 2007


Well my Milwaukee Sister can have another reason to hate the burbs.....

I returned to work today after my sinful Memorial Day weekend (more on that later) to discover that the suburbs of Chicago have been taken over by these creatures. Apparently one particular species has some bizarre 17 year lifecyle and this is the year they come out in the millions. Literally on every single tree you see the bugs or whats left of their shedded skins. I personally cannot stand any kind of bug so coming to work today was rather frightening. That creepy buzzing noise they make is all I could hear even with my car windows rolled up. I have read that they are harmless but that gives me no consolation. I cannot wait to return to the comfort of my concrete and steel urban dwelling where cicadas are few and far between!

Monday, May 28, 2007

Never Ever

I don't think I have ever had so much fun or such an amazing night than tonight. Sometimes we need to really come out of our comfort zones and break out of our shells to really LIVE.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Mo' Money Mo' Problems

So I have an interesting financial crisis currently looming over my head. I work part time because of school. This is normally not an issue because my income is supplemented during the school year by student loans. Summer is here and that generally means picking up extra hours at my casual job (alot of people go on vacations so I cover for them). Anyhoo, that doesn't seem to be the case this year. There are no extra hours to work so far and I am not sure if there will be any at all the rest of the summer. I do have a few upcoming "opportunities" to earn a little extra cash but that's it. Initially this concerned me. My part time salary leaves me about $200-$300 short every month of what I need to pay all of my bills, buy food, etc. So after a few days of coming to the realization I will probably run out of money before the summer is over with I decided.......

I don't give a flying fuck. I'll charge my groceries if I have to.

I think I have finally reached that age when I realize there are more important things in life than money, like my sanity. The past two summers I practically killed myself working almost 80 hours a week. Last year I never even had the chance to go to the beach once. Fuck that shit. I am taking it easy this summer and enjoying what Chicago has to offer (well, at least the free things, lol).

Tuesday, May 22, 2007



Monday, May 21, 2007

Chicago Socialite Extraordinaire!

Well folks, it looks like yours truly has officially climed to the top of Chicago's social ladder (And I didn't even have to sleep with anyone!) I picked up the special IML edition of Boi Magazine the other day and found out that I had finally made my modeling debut on page 58! Watch out America's Next Top Model!

Since I am sure I will be receiving a profusion of autograph requests I have decided to bless all of the little people who helped make this moment happen by uploaded a pre-autographed copy.

Print it.
Adore it.
Worship it.
Save it. I guarantee this will go for alot of money on ebay one day! Mark my words!

Sunday, May 20, 2007


So awhile back I was approached by a young man online. I told him I didn't do the online hook up thing anymore but I am always up for drinks and hanging out. I figure that way if worse comes to worse I make a new friend. Anyhoo, we met up for drinks and he seemed nice. Looks wise he wasn't really my type but he wasn't exactly ugly either. So while we were at his house he started to get flirty with me. I figured what the fuck, he could give me a blow job at least. I'd be fine with that. Well, needless to say he wanted to do alot more than just give me head, and as I stated before he wasn't exactly my type to go all the way to third base so I put my clothes back on and left. He got super pissy and couldn't wait to show me the way out.

Such nerve! He should have been APOLOGETIC, not angry! I mean, if I was giving a guy head and he suddenly decided he wanted to leave instead of finish I would take that as hint that perhaps my oral sex skills are lacking.

Anyhoo, the point of the story is I posted this on Craigslist under the "missed connections" section for a good laugh:

Title: (missed connections) We didn't connect sexually, deal with it. - m4m
I was polite but you got bitchy. So now I am going to be brutally honest. You were a lousy kisser, your breath reeked, your bedroom smelled like your dogs took a crap all over the place and that was the worst BJ of my life. Did you honestly think I would be willing to do more?

Oh and would it kill you to lift a few weights either? Nicole Richie has more muscle mass in her left thumb.

Tee hee.

(PS, I should also mention that several people responded to the post offering me "mind blowing blowjobs". Awwwww...there are so many kind and considerate individuals out there!)

Friday, May 18, 2007

If I could turn back ti-ome!

I think I have figured out why gay men worship such ageless divas like Cher. We can learn from them how to turn back the hands of time and cling to our youth! Granted that the faces of Mt. Rushmore are capable of more facial expressions than Cher but who wants to be able to smile or look human when you can be wrinkle free?

Well, I think I have the wrinkles under control so far thanks to my good genes and daily skin care routine. However it is my my gray hairs that have been stopping me from clinging to my youth completely. I have tried to use regular hair dye in the past with minimal results. I almost gave up until I received a free coupon in the mail for "Just For Men". It's almost as if Cher herself could hear my desperate cries for help and blessed me with her youthful wisdom!

So I gave the stuff a chance since it was free and holy fuck......no more gray hairs! The shit fucking works like you wouldn't believe in only 5 fucking minutes! I can't remember the last time I got so much pleasure in under 5 minutes! (Well, actually I can but the fact it was under 5 minutes was actually a bad thing!)

Woo hoo! Now I can officially tell everyone I am 21 and they will believe it! (And if they don't I will bitch slap their ugly asses!)

Thursday, May 17, 2007


Why in the world do I have a cold in the middle of May????? And to make things worse it is finals week at school. Oh well, thank god for Dayquil/Nyquil. Fortunately I don't have any plans for the weekend. I need to start saving my energy for Memorial Day Weekend!

You know, it seems like every year I get screwed out of enjoying this weekend because of work. Well, since I am only working part time now that didn't happen again this year. What's so special about Memorial Day Weekend that I should care so much? Well, this is the weekend that International Mr. Leather comes to Chicago! Thousdands of leather daddies, their fans and just plain curious folks (much like myself) take over Chicago's downtown and northside areas for four days. I remember back in 2003 when I first experienced this. I had no idea such a "pageant" existed nor that it was such a big deal. Actually, I thought the whole thing was just weird. I mean, grown men running around in leather wear...... I just didn't get it, but then I realized that there isn't anything to "get". For people like me it's an opportunity to spice things up a bit and play "dress up". i guess you could say IML is a gay Halloween in May! LOL. Well this year I have that whole weekend reserved! Saturday I am checking out the leather market place (cuz a girl can never have too many leather pants, chaps, whips, jock straps..... etc!). Saturday evening is Circuit's "Military Ball"......(which is actually a "Grabbys" after party but that's a whole other topic I won't go into right now)

The following night, Sunday, the IML After Party at the House of Blues

And finally on Monday at Excalibur is the Black and Blue party! Let's see if I can keep myself from getting "black and blue" after all of that excitement!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

10 Year Anniversary

Well, today isn't the exact anniversary date of anything, but i realized that this year I will be commemorating lots of things.

1. I graduated from high school 10 years ago. My high school years were nice. I definitely had fashion and hair issues but I was young and foolish. All that matters now is that most of my classmates got fat and ugly..........but not me!

2. I came out of the closet 10 years ago. Actually my coming out occurred in various stages and was rather anti-climatic. In fact, I probably still have some more coming out to do because there are probably some relatives who still have no idea simply because I really don't talk to them, lol. Oh well, should there ever be a family reunion I will show up in drag.

3. I have been in Chicago for 5 years now! Ok, well that isn't a "10" year anniversary but it's still something to celebrate. Right? I can only wonder where I will be living in another 5 years.........

Well, my vacation plans to Toronto and NYC are set! Now it's just a matter of deciding what I will do when I get there. I still don't know what's going on for an August vacation. I will worry about that once I get through final exams week.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Please leave a message after the tone. (BEEP!)

So I have a really bad habit of giving out my number when I am drunk. Fortunately the men who I give my number to are probably just as drunk as I am so the forget to call me when they sober up. Occasionally I give out my number to one that isn't drunk and I spend the next week hoping he doesn't call.....or if he does that he is actually hot (I might as well be blind when I am drunk, lol)! However, the fact that random strangers might be trying to call my cell phone isn't the real issue I have realized. What fucking bugs me is that they don't leave a message! What the fuck! If you are going to go through so much trouble as to call me three times in a row just leave a fucking message!!!!!! Even if it's a "Hey asshole, you said you thought I was cute last night now why can't you pick up your goddamn phone you punk ass bitch!" I would totally appreciate it. Fuck, they could even send a text message if a voicemail is too complicated. What is this world coming to!

Leave a message you fucking dumb fucks!!!!!!

On a slightly related note, why do guys in bars always feel compelled to give me their business card? I guess at the club I don't look like a cum slut on the prowl, rather a new home owner in desperate need of an affordable interior designer. Go figure.

Well, other than not answering phone calls from stranger numbers, I haven't been doing anything to exciting. Last weekend I was suppose to have dinner/drinks with Xica and his friends from New York but plans changed at the last minute and I had to cancel. On Friday after school, my Lesbian Friend and I went out for dinner and got a little bit of "culture" at the Luna Negra performance in Lincoln Park. That was my third time seeing the company perform and I must say it was a nice change of pace from my usual clubbing schedule.

Speaking of school, it's the last week of classes and next week are finals! Wow, this first year went fast. I am looking forward to the summer......sort of. Unless I can pick up extra hours at work I am going to starve and die (I only work part time and I won't be getting any student loan money in the summer!). You know what though, I am not worried. In fact, I am so NOT worried about how I will support myself for the next 3 1/2 months that I have even started to plan my vacations. Yes, that was plural. VacationS!

It looks like I will be hitting up Toronto and New York City in July. I am still trying to figure something out for August. If I can get a cheap plane ticket, Puerto Rico or California are possible options. If not, there is always the cheaper alternative..........Miami!!!!!

So does anyone know of any warm, tropical and CHEAP, vacations spots other than the ones I listed?

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

(Se)xsport Fitness

So last night I hung out with Xica for a little bit. I ended up coming with him as a guest to his gym, Xsport Fitness. I had already worked out at my gym but I figured I could hang out and get a smoothie or something. Anyhoo, I must make a mental note to never be a guest at a gym again. I was forced to sit there with one of the sales representatives as he interrogated me "SO how long have you been interested in joining our club?". I can't tell you how many times I had to repeat myself "I am not interested. It was a last minute decision to come join my friend." Even after all of that the guy had the nerve to ask me 20 times if I was ready to sign a contract. Finally when I thought I had reached my wit's end they let me go. I felt like a Iraqi prisoner or war finally released to the Western world.

The only good things about the visit were the protein bars I had been wanting to buy were on sale there and all of the fucking hot men!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy shit. It was if one of the requirements to join the club was to look like a male model. I don't think I could ever work out there even if I was interested. All of the eye candy would be too distracting. Nevertheless it was fun to hang out with Xica although I must admit he's difficult to read. I haven't quite figured him out yet but I think that is for the best. I am just enjoying it one day at a time.

Actually, when it comes to figuring people out I give up completely. Maybe as I get older I find myself less tolerant of people's odd ball behavior. I cannot even begin to count how many times I have had to deal with friends/coworkers/classmates/etc. that had serious emotional issues or insecurities and the only way they knew how to deal with those problems was by lashing out at everyone else with their mean and nasty comments or actions. Is it my fault they fucked up on a exam, had a shitty day at work, or hate their lives? Hell no. I say either go see a therapist or deal with the underlying issues. I am way too old to be dealing with this shit. I am also old enough to know that spewing venom on everyone else doesn't solve anything.

ugh...then there are jsut people who seem to lack common sense. I give up on them too. Well, maybe it is better to say I am learning to ignore them. The other day I get an email from this guy I went on 2 dates with almost two months ago. I wasn't interested so I never followed up for a third date. Well, out of of the blue he contacts me asking "What happened to you? Did you disappear?". Um, how someone could be so clueless is beyond me. I just shook my head in disbelief as I deleted that email along with the 10 other ones for viagra, asian porn and stock investments.

I have a headache now! lol