Monday, December 24, 2007

2007: Not so fierce music.

With every good album that is released, there is an equally horrible one waiting to assault your ears without warning. These were the albums that made me cringe with disgust after hearing them.....

Deborah Harry - "Necessary Evil": As a solo artist, Ms. Harry was always a "singles artist" and not so much an "albums artist" and apparently after a 15 year absence not much has changed. Granted, I LOVED the lead single but for the rest of the album it is for the most part shit. Perhaps the title should have been "Unnecessary Evil"? Most of the "songs" (if you can even call them that) sound like the rantings of someone's senile grandmother who forgot to take her Alzheimer's medication.

Darren Hayes - "This Delicate Thing We've Made": This album had the potential to be great. Darren had a great idea and 100% artistic control over the project. However we ended up with two discs of a grown man whining about everything and everything that has gone wrong in his life layered over electronic blips and bleeps. The result is not quite a dance album and probably TOO introspective to be enjoyable to anyone other than those suffering from clinical depression.

Prince - "Planet Earth": Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Ok, so I will take the blame for this one. Why do I keep buying these Prince albums year after year when I know deep down inside this man lost all ability to make good music (or at least an album's worth) in 1995? Boring.

Kelly Rowland - "Ms. Kelly": I wanted to like this album, really, I did. i have been rooting for Ms. Kelly ever since she seemed to come into her own on the Destiny's Child single/video "Bootylicious". She showed the world that there was more to the group than just Beyonce's yelping and nasty weave. Her first solo album was acceptable, but I was hoping she would have done something a little more exotic and daring to at least somewhat step out from Beyonce's shadow. Poor Kelly played it safe though with this album of possibly the most generic RnB/Hip Hop songs you could imagine. Shit, I don't think Kelly could even step out of Christina Milian's shadow, much less Beyonce's with this snooze fest.

Mutya Buena - "Real Girl": Uh oh! It's another former Sugababe member ready to show the world the "real" reason why she left the group. Unfortunately she doesn't have much to show. Mutya (aka the bootleg Lil Kim as my Sista M would say) delivers an album that is merely a poor man's Sugababes album. Why bother Mutya? just go raise your baby and shut up already.

DJ Encore - "Unique": Surely I am not the only one who remembers DJ Encore's debut back in 2001/2002 with the crossover trance/dance hit single "I See Right Through To You". The single and album were bliss. I was surprised to come across this sophomore effort one day while scouring Virgin Records (RIP) earlier this year. Well, after one listen it was clearly evident why I hadn't heard anything about this release. DJ Encore is stuck in 1992 with this album and not in a good way by any means.

Chenoa - "Absurda Cenicienta": Chenoa is a such a great vocalist from Spain. Unfortunately, everytime I buy her albums I feel like I wind up with one or two good songs and a bunch of filler. I suppose I should have learned my lesson but I always feel the need to give a singer another chance. Sadly, this album is probably her worst. Some of the songs are just downright embarrassing and sound like left overs from her Operacion Triunfo days (the Spanish talent show she was discovered on).

Sunday, December 23, 2007

2007: Fierce Music

So these were the albums (in no particular order) this past year that received the official "stamp of fiercness" from yours truly.

Hilary Duff - Dignity: Never in a million years did I think I would praising a Hilary Duff album. Who's next, Hannah Montana? lol Anyhoo, this album is Hilary's coming of age album. Long gong is the cute little girl that conquered the Disney crowd a few years back. Instead we have a sexy, woman who isn't afraid to ask her socialite panty-less peers "Where's your dignity"? The album is an electropop/dance romp from start to finish with surprisingly personal lyrics that address her recent highly publicized relationships with boys (Play With Fire), the paparrazzi (Dreamer), and even her family (Gypsy Woman). Hilary surpasses all expectations and delivers a phenomenal album......'with love'!

Deborah Cox - Destination Moon: I fell in love with this album during my road trip to Toronto this summer. Who would have thought a jazz album of Dinah Washigton covers would make such great car music? I am not much of a jazz fan but Ms. Cox belts out these tunes with a touch of RnB flare giving them a very contemporary sound. One might say this is the album's downfall, but I personally love Deborah's take on all of these timeless classics! Props to Deb for not being afraid to step away from the dancefloor for a little bit.

Jes - Disconnect: WOW! WOW! WOW! Words cannot express how much I fell in love with this album. Jes, originally part of the indie rock scene, found herself suddenly working with some of the biggest names in dance a few years back (DJ Tiesto, D:Fuse, Gabriel & Dresden). As a result, her first solo album is a hybrid of her indie rock roots and her current electronica influences. I guess you could describe her music as being "rocktronica". The uptempo songs are mesmerizing with the layers of synths and guitars along with Jes's distinct voince and insightful lyrics. She really shines though on the downtempo tracks like "Stronger", that have a sound very reminiscent of acts like the Sneaker Pimps from the late 90's. The album is brilliant and I can't wait for more!

Rihanna - Good Girl Gone Bad: Most people were probably quick to write Rihanna off as a one hit wonder, but three albums later and a slew of hit singles forever engraved in pop culture, she just seems to keep getting better. This album is as catchy and addictive as you might suspect. Rihanna successfully dabbles in pop, RnB, and dance to create one of the most staisfying mainstream albums of the year. I'll stand under her umbrella (ella, ella, ella) any day of the week!

Ultra Naté - Grime Silk Thunder: It's always frustrating for the fans when an artist takes 6 years to record a new album, but as in Ultra's case, the time was well spent. As with her previous studio albums, Grime Silk Thunder sucessfully captures a particular mood and theme that most artists are unable to create. This album is not only about the 6 year process that took to make it but Ultra's incredible journey as an international recording artist since 1989. The album is a journey in which the listener gets to visit past classics reinvented for 2007 (Scandal), smooth Moroder-esque electronic anthems (Love's The Only Drug, Automatic) and the classic house/soul sound Ultra Naté is known for (Give It All You Got, Getaway).

Sophie Ellis Bextor - Trip The Light Fantastic: Although this album failed to have the commercial impact her debut album did back in 2001, fans around the world will agree this is her best and most cohesive work yet. It is a collection of sophisticated yet fun pop songs. As usual, the lyrics are quirky at times (Catch You, Me And My Imagination) and absolutely sincere and touching elsewhere (Today The Sun's On Us).

Britney Spears - Blackout: I was always a casual Britney fan. Unlike her ex-teen peers though, Britney never tried to pretend she was a real "artist". If anything, Blackout is Britney's 100% complete embracing of her trailer trash roots and I fucking love it. The album plays like a coked up stripper's soundtrack. The album is just so infectious from start to finish that one can overlook the fact that Britney's voice is so over produced it might as well be a robot singing. It's ironic that one of the best pop albums of the year would come from one of the most troubled celebrities of the year! Talk about multi-tasking!

Sugababes - Change: It's quite rare for a girl group to experience three member changes and be on their fifth studio album that is shaping up to be their most successful yet. Heidi, Keisha and Amelle deliver one of the most catchiest and brilliant pop albums of the year. The girls harmonize perfectly with each voice complimenting one another as they flawlessly flow from ballads (Change, Back When) to upbeat rock/pop (About You Now, My Love Is Pink, Never Gonna Dance Again). They remain the UK's "little secret" but after the release of this album overseas I happened to notice various US music publications praising the album. Let's hope that after all of these years the girls finally conquer the US.

Siobhan Donaghy - Ghosts: Speaking of the Sugababes, Siobhan was one of the original members from 2000-2001. She left the group and recorded a flop solo album in 2003. Well, she signed a new record deal this past year and while the album was another flop, it showed what absolute brilliance is lingering in this young woman. "Ghost" is an appropriate title as so many tracks seem to haunt you with Siobahn's eerie, dark and melancholy delivery. It's rare to see a singer go solo and see that he/she really did have a musical vision that simply did not agree with that of the former band.

Offer Nissim - Forever Tel Aviv: This album technically shouldn't count since it is a DJ mixed compilation but considering so many of Offer Nissim's original productions appear on this double disc and the fact it was the SOUNDTRACK of possibly my best summer ever, I couldn't forget about it. Now this is what dance music is about!

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Christmas Shoppers should burn in hell!

Every year around this time the same thing happens. Stores across the country are flooded with rude, obnoxious, greedy little cunts fighting over the last fucking Wii (or any other popular gift item) in the state. I don't celebrate Christmas so I don't have any need to do any shopping. I avoid stores like the plague after Thanksgiving. However, the holiday shoppers manage to bring gloom in my direction a different way. You see I have a handful of friends that work in retail so everytime this year they disappear off the face of the earth and I don't see them or hear from them.


So if you are one of those obnoxious holiday shoppers, just know that you put a damper on my social life every year! Bah humbug!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

On The Radio: 2007

2007 was a strange year in music. Some of the most unlikely people put out some really great music. I found myself even enjoying alot of the mainstream Top 40 stuff that gets played to death in this country. I guess that either means I have finally succumbed to Clear Channel's plan to dictate what I listen to or maybe for once there really were alot of good Top 40 songs!

Without further ado I bring to you my Top 7 of 2007 Favorite Songs!

1. Timbaland - "The Way I Are": WOW! Months later I still can't get enough of this song. It is a cool hybrid of today's current dance/pop with 80's RnB! The video was a bit dull but I can over look that.

2. Jennifer Lopez - "Que Hiciste": Ooooh! Not only was J-lo's performance of this song the highlight of her concert but it was also one of my most played songs this year on my iPod. J-lo turned it out with this fiery latin dance pop number!

3. Hilary Duff - "With Love": Hilary Duff could do no wrong this year in my eyes and this sexy electropop delicacy is no exception! This became her highest charting single of her career and rightfully so!

4. Beyoncé & Shakira: This duet was quite the unlikely pairing but the end result was fierce. Not only was the video original, but the song showed what versatile performers these two ladies are! Oh, and don't even get me started on the dance remix for this!

5. Ultra Naté - "Automatic": It was a crime that pop radio ignored this brilliant Pointer Sisters remake. Ultra takes an 80's gem and turns it upside down and inside out to make it completely fresh, new and oh so ULTRA! And if that wasn't enough the video is by far the hottest video of 2007!

6. Debbie Harry - "Two Times Blue": Debbie Harry returned in 2007 with her first solo material since 1992. Debbie (and her plastic surgeon) make 62 look like the new 40! The song is a delicious slice of "granny pop" with enough hints of the new wave sound she perfected 30 years with Blondie to satisfy any fan of that era.

7. Dannii Minogue - "Touch Me Like That: I save the best for last with this pick. Dannii Minogue teamed up with the American DJ/producer, Jason Nevins, to create this funky dancefloor anthem that incorporates a clever sample of Sylvester's "You Make Me Feel". The video is also another stunning showcase of Dannii's many talents. I mean, who else makes neon lights look so cool?

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

For Luis

Sunday, December 16, 2007

2007: I Want Your SEX

As the year comes to a close, it is common for us to look back on the events that made 2007 noteworthy. The past two years I compiled all of my favorite (and least favorite) musical selections. I will do that this year too but I thought I should spice things up with......

Chicago Sexbox's Top 5 Fucks of 2007!


Now, if you are a sheltered prude who has issues diccussing gay sex so frankly, or the simple fact I had enough casual encounters this year to compile such a list, please hit the "back" button on your web browser now. Or perhaps you could join one of the wholesome, family value oriented Republicans cruising a public bathroom.

1. Brazilian Banana: Wow, I had watched enough gay brazilian porn to know those guys must be amazing in bed but my movies could not even prepare me for the extreme sexual ecstasy I enjoyed with my first ever Brazilian hottie. If you have never added a Brazilian Banana to your fruit salad, trust me, you have no idea what you have been missing!

2. Hindu Hookup: There is something about those cute Bollywood Indian men that get me all hard and dripping with excitement. Granted, my Hindu Hookup was probably not as hot as most of the famous Bollywood actors but he was a cutie nevertheless with lots of gay sexual tension to get rid of before he returned back to his homeland!

3. Abercrombie & Cock: Foreign men are wonderful, but sometimes I crave a good ol' American suburban white boy. There's a certain element of eroticness I get from peeling off a guy's pair of Abercrombie & Fitch jeans to discover he was going commando that day (no underwear) and his big beautiful cock flops out and says "hi"!

4. Peace In Yo Middle Crease: The middle east is plagued with so many wars, terrorists and political unrest. It is also an area plagues with an abundance of hot men. I had the pleasure of experiencing exactly what the men of Jordan have to offer in the bedroom. Now THAT was really my favorite part of my trip to Toronto! LOL

5. Reg-GAY-Tone: The stereotypical Puerto Rican reggaeton thug type is usually not for me. However I met one little PR that rocked my world. His amazing pinga and super tight culo put me in a Boriqua state of ecstasy!

Friday, December 14, 2007


I have amazing gaydar. I am sure I have bragged about it before. I mean, I can drive within 90 miles of a state penitentiary and my loins will begin to moisten from all of the homoerotic vibes transmitting through the air. Despite my almost 100% accurate gaydar, I still tend to err on the side of caution. Just because I know someone is gay doesn't necessarily mean the guy is "out". I would hate to be the cause of an uncomfortable situation and suggest someone is openly gay when in fact they are a super closeted, married, bathroom cruising Republican.

Two weeks ago I blogged about the hottie Arabic/Italian security guard at my job. Well, to make a long story short, not only were my suspicions correct (he's gayer than a Cher farewell tour) but we exchanged numbers and went on a date last night!

The date went extremely well. He is is very charming and has a great sense of humor. He kept me laughing the entire night. the date was fairly simple. We ate at the new Thai restuarant I was raving about the other day, Sura and then went to Sidetrack for their comedy night. If he continues to pass my tests and advances to the next levels perhaps I will give him his own "secret name" so he can become a recurring personality on my blog!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Decaffeinate Me, Please

They say caffeine is the most widely abused drug in the United States. I rarely drink coffee but I have been consuming Red Bull and other similar energy drinks like they are going out of style. It wasn't until this past week though that I realized how much I depended on caffeine to get me through the day. I eliminated all the energy drinks from my life and have tried to even avoid caffeinated soda. Wow. I have been so tired. Even after 9 hours of sleep I find myself dozing off in class or coming home and taking a nap. This withdrawl should only last a short while but it is scary to see how vital caffeine had become to my body. Yikes!

Friday, December 07, 2007

Party Time!

The ladies who work first shift at my job find a reason to have a staff party for just about anything. Sure, there are the obvious party occasions like birthdays, but then there are the not so obvious. In the past four years I have witnessed pot luck celebrations commemorating job anniversaries, new employees, current employees' last days, new computer systems, new lab instruments, holidays, and even a mini-bridal shower. Regardless of the event, the routine never changes. Tacky banners, plastic table cloths, sporks and dixie cups are everywhere. Oh, and the menu rarely varies from the usual gross egg rolls, generic diet pop, some sort of "salad" which looks more like regurgitated egg rolls, brownies from Jewel, and about 20 gallons of ice cream to properly ensure no one leaves without slipping into a hyperglycemic coma.

I rarely take part in these festivities because I work the evening shift. However, I must say the most recent pot luck was the most disturbing. This time it wasn't a birthday or a new computer program. No, this time the reason for the pot luck was a coworkers recent death from a massive stroke. Yippe! Now who wants some cake?

Hmmmm.....the whole thing seems just a bit morbid if you ask me. So whether you celebrating 10 years of working here or you fucking croak because an artery in your brain fucking exploded, you can rest assure that as soon as the news makes its way to the department there will be a sign up sheet for the next pot luck!

I'll be sure to bring the sporks next time.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Vile Vegas

My trip to Las Vegas was quite productive! The ASHP 42nd annual midyear meeting proved to be a great netorking opportunity and an overall positive experience. I attended a few continuing education seminars but the highlight of the meeting for me was the residency showcase. Practically every pharmacy residency program from the US and Puerto Rico was there to answer any questions about their programs. Granted, I am still a year and a half from graduation, but I think it was a good idea to get a headstart now so I know what to expect. I would hate to graduate and not have the slightest clue as to where I should look for a residency or what particular areas of clinical pharmacy interest me.

It's a shame that the meeting was held in Las Vegas. It's been almost four years since my first trip to Las Vegas and I can honestly say not much has changed. The city is one of the most disgusting, vile, trashy and tacky places in the country. I was constantly annoyed by the really bad celebrity impersonators, drunk white trash from Nebraska that have never seen flashing neon lights before, toothless Mexicans shoving female "escort" ads in my face, crappy overpriced food, casinos, and Celine Dion.

Thank God the ASHP meeting will be held in Orlando next year!