Friday, March 30, 2007

The Dating Game

I can't honestly say why I haven't posted something this entire week. I swear I haven't been that busy. Hmmm....I think sometimes I have so much on my mind that perhaps it is too hard for me to put it into words.

I know I have alluded to the fact that I have recently resubmerged myself in the dating world but I have been very quiet about all of the "dating" I have been doing. I think this is in part due to the questionable quality of these dates (I know I blogged about stalker boy sending me 500 text messages in a matter of 10 minutes), but most importantly I haven't had much to say because none of my dates have been all that remarkable. There was the doctor who was about as interesting as a bag of rocks. Then there was the masseur who was nice but failed to really spark any interest (he did give some bomb ass massages though! word!). Now there is my most recent "discovery". He's very handsome, has an amazing body, is very nice and funny but is very quickly becoming way to clingy. I really get concerned when after only three dates I have to hear how "rude" I was for not being able to return a message until 4 hours later. Jesus fucking christ. Give me some fucking space! I am not one of these people who walk around with their cell phone crazy glued to their face. I'll get back to you when I have time!

I will give this most recent guy another chance though. I don't think I should be too dismissive, but things aren't looking good. I LOATHE clingy men.

Now, before I started all of this dating I thought perhaps I shouldn't rush things but then I realized, what the fuck am I waiting for? I'm not getting any younger and my fabulously fierce wardrobe of Diesel jeans is collecting dust. I look fierce goddamnit! So fuck this shit. Maybe I do have to sort through a shit load of men with more issues than Newsweek but I will be damned if I sit at home and rot my life away. I am sure I will have plenty of time to do that when I am old, wrinkled and pooping myself.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

JP Calderon

I suppose today's post could be classified as "beefaroni" but there really is another reason why I am blogging about former "Survivor" contestant, JP Calderon.

Yes, this man is absolutely gorgeous. He caught my attention a few months ago when he appeared on the cover of my favorite fag mag, Instinct and it was actually what he said in his interview that probably stuck in my mind more than his gorgeous face and chiseled body.

If you click on the link above you can read a very abbreviated interview. I am too lazy too pull out all of my favorite quotes but basically his interview was about his coming out at age 31. Yeah I know, how boring, another "coming out story". In the gay media a cute cover boy is a dime a dozen. No one rarely gives a shit what these guys actually have to say. Well, apparently I wasn't the only one who had been touched by his story. Although it was nothing remarkable in anyway, shape or form, JP conveyed a real sense of self acceptance. Even in the 2 page interview it was evident that this was a gay man who was finally 100% confortable with who he is as a person and instead of being apprehensive towards gay culture and labeling himself as a "straight acting gay" he actually seemed to be embracing all of the stereotypes, good and bad, that are often associated with being gay. I guess what touched me was the fact he was so excited to finally be who he was inside and he loved the fact that he was finally able to love himself. He was taking all of those years of repression and turing it into something positive.

Ok, I know that sounds like every other coming out story but I guess you have to read the article to really appreciate it. I got my latest issue of Instinct yesterday and apparently the response to JP's interview was overwhelming and unlike anything the editor had ever seen. JP even wrote a letter thanking everyone for their kind words and once again really left a mark with his words:

The whole JP Calderon story really got me thinking though about how few people in this world are truly comfortable in their own skin and let that positive energy radiate outwards for everyone else to see. I will admit that when I was younger I had my own insecurities and instead of dealing directly with the cause of the problem I would lash out at others. By making fun of someone else I could for one second forget about what was really bothering me. Unfortunately I think it is all too common, and easy, for us to deal with our problems and insecurities by hurting others. I think now that I am older and hopefully a bit more wiser I know longer do this. Do I still have insecurities or believe there are things about my character I could improve? Most definitely. The thing is now I do not let the negative energy overcome me. I am confortable with who I am and I know I am capable of channeling whatever issues I may have in a positive manner. It saddens me to say though I have met many people in my life who aren't able to do this. Their solution still lies in hurting others to make themselves feel better. I guess misery will always love company. Now, I am not saying I haven't met people in my life that were the complete opposite. I can think of several people right off the top of my head that have such an amazing sense of self worth and self acceptance that they can't help but to bring a smile to people's faces wherever they go. They truly are special and I hope they realize this.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Just Call Me "Vag"

Well I think this past Saturday was my best birthday yet. I won't go into all of the details but we started out at Las MaƱanitas (my favorite Mexican restaurant in Chicago) and then followed up the yummy food and margaritas with more alcohol and mayhem at Crew and Big Chicks. As usual it was a blast throwing down with my Milwaukee Sister (who else can appreciate Lil' Suzy with me?). Poor Jorgillo though......i don't know what I was doing but we both ended up falling on the floor at Big Chicks. How embarrassing! The two straight girls of the night also added to the excitement. Emily was there to throwdown with me to the Cover Girls' "Because Of You" and probably got drunker than I did! of course, my faovrite straight girl of the night was my homegirl Reni who made it all the way from Moo-Town. Wow, it had been years since we got shit faced together!

The highlight of the night though was this woman at Big Chicks who insisted that we call her "Vag" (short for "Vagina"). She couldn't stop telling us over and over how her pussy gets wet when she watches gay men fuck and that she wanted to fuck me with her strap on. Vag proceeded to flash her titties, play with my nipples and put her hands down my pants. I can honeslty say I have never ever ever had a member of the opposite sex fondle my genitalia. It was interesting ,lol.

Vag, if you happen to read this you need to come out with us next time....just don't forget to bring your strap on!

Friday, March 16, 2007

Revolution In Me

Tomorrow is my birthday so today is the last day I can tell people I am 27. You can bet that I will be telling everyone I am 27 today. I am going to walk up to perfect strangers and say "hey guess what, I am 27 years old!" Fuck yeah. I need to take advantage of this day because when the clock strikes midnight I will be 28. Two to the eight. Veintiocho.


To say I feel like my youth is slowly slipping away from me would be an understatement. I actually feel like it is frantically running out the door while I desperately cling to its ankles begging it to stay. Well, at least I still look fierce and don't have any wrinkles. (knock on wood)

So today's post is titled after this album by the orignal white girl from the UK girl group, the Sugababes:

I actually hated this album and got rid of it on but that's beside the point. I really wanted to have a artsy fartsy blog title today since now that I am old something more frivolous just wouldn't do.

Ok, I lie, there is a real reason why I used that title. My youth may be running out the door faster than most of my one night stands but I have decided it's time to take advantage of what little bit of my 20's still remains. You know, I got my shit together. I have a good job. I am getting a doctorate degree. There are no bill collectors after me (yet). So I have had to ask myself why is it I have become such a boring person. Why? Why? Why!!!?!?! What the fuck am I trying to prove? Nothing really, which is why the revolution in me must commence! I remember when I first moved to Chicago a few years back. To recover from the repressed life I had in Milwaukee I let loose and slutted it up and partied big time. I look back though and I must say everything was just so random and aimless. That first year I was here I didn't do anything that really mattered. Things are different now. I want to go back to those days (well not exactly) and have some FUN again. I want to be a little more carefree. I want to not worry what people might think or say. In fact, I want to laugh at those people who may try to project their own insecurities onto me because wasting my youth and not living it to the fullest is far more important. yes, my 28th year on this planet is going to be intense. It's going to be good I tell ya! In fact, I am going to tell you a little secret..........i have already started my "revolution" and a few friends were a bit shocked when they found out exactly how I have begun to implement these changes in my life.

But unlike when I first moved here, there is order in my life. I won't be wasting time, rather I will be taking advantage of it.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

"I Want To Fuck You"

I feel as though it is my duty keep everyone updated on the super pop sensation from down under, Dannii Minogue, that when I came across this clip on You Tube I I could not resist posting.

The beautiful and talented Dannii is currently hosting "Australia's Got Talent". The show has been quite a success so her music career has been put on hold for a bit. However, she is STILL planning to release her fierce cover of Sister Sledge's "He's The Greatest Dancer" to tie in with show in April. No news on an album but good things come to those who wait.

Anyhoo, this clip is from Dannii's new show and is just further proof that Dannii truly is a global sex icon!!!!

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Street Smarts and Sharts

Wow, what a weekend. I am currently at work doing a double shift after only sleeping 3 hours. How the hell did I do this all of the time when I was 23? Jesus Christ! I am so thankful right now for the careless coworker who left behind an unopened can of Red Bull in the break room. I think I would have lapsed into a coma by now otherwise.

I was suppose to have attended the Moenia/Alejandra Guzman concert last night with Jorgillo at the Aragon Ballroom. Neither one of us had purchased our tickets in advanced. We figured we could pay at the door. Unfortunately we didn't anticipate the ticket prices to be jacked up an extra $20 so at the last minute we said fuck it and went bar hopping. Personally, it was a blessing in disguise for me. My digestive tract has been battling some nasty quesadillas I ate on Thursday. I went from constipated, to gassy, to hershey squirts, to more gassy and finally today to just the full blown shits. Yuck. I am never having cheese quesadillas at Hamburger Mary's again cuz let me tell you it is not cute when you shart in the middle of a bar surrounded by hot men. Thank god for single person private bathrooms! LOL!

Well, the end of Saturday night took a slightly scarier turn. Ironically the week before my lesbian friend came to the city and commented on how I constantly look over my shoulder when I am walking. I explained to her that in a big city like Chicago crime is everyhwhere, even in the good areas. It's good to have some "street smarts" and always be aware of your surroundings. Well, my "street smarts" came in handy last night when leaving a bar in Uptown, an area in Chicago known for being a bit shady. I left the bar by myself and decided it would be a good idea to catch a cab a block away on a more deserted street (yes, a stupid idea at 2AM). Well, even in my druken stupor I was keeping an eye out for any potential beefaroni and/or potential muggers. Well, I immediately noticed to scary looking individuals start to rapidly approach me from across the street. I say scary because they were both carrying those large sticks that police officers use. Is it possible they were friendly flok merely taking a late night stroll? Yes, it could have been but my gut instinct told me to fucking! So before the even reached the street I ran like a little bitch back to the bar. Thank god I wasn't wearing heels! I mean, I can just imagine falling like on of those dumb bitches in horror movies when the villain is approaching.

Well, needless to say I escaped any harm and am thankful that I am NOT oblivious to my surroundings, even when I am fucking wasted. I am also thankful that am addicted to the treadmill at the gym so I can run for cover when necessary. Wow, and here i thought my treadmill time was just a lame excuse to watch "I Love New York"!

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Butt Fucking

Well, now that I have your attention :)

You know, I miss the days when I first came out and being gay was so simple. There was no need to be a top, bottom, vers. top, bear, cub, twink, chub chaser, leather daddy, queen, butch, PNP bottom pig, etc. etc. etc. I simply was gay and had sex with other men. Things just seemed to get so much more complicated as the years went by. To be quite honest, I have been a bit apprehensive when it came to filing myself in one of the aforementioned categories, especially when it came to anal sex. I gues for all practical purposes I am "versatile" but I often wish I could pick "none of the above". I am probably going to get my gay card revoked for admiting I am not very fond of anal sex but surely there are others that share my view.

Anal sex can be good, sometimes very good, on both the receiving and giving end. I just seem to find it more often bad than good. As for the receiving end I often compare it to my trips to amusement parks like Great America. Those rollercoasters look like a lot of fun and I will admit when I first get on it is quite an exhilirating ride but about midway through I start to wish I hadn't agreed to this and I desperately want to get off, but it's too late because the Great America workers aren't going to stop the roller coaster just because I am now feeling sick to my stomach.

As for the giving end, am I the only one (well, not counting you barebackers out there) who just loses so much sensation with a piece of plastic on my dick that all of the extra pumping and grinding it takes to feel even minimum pleasure just isn't worth the trouble? Maybe I have had just a bunch of loose fucks but I often think to myself "i'd rather just get a blowjob and be done with it".

Being gay is so hard!

Monday, March 05, 2007

Spring Break Recap

Well my spring break has come and gone. I actually got alot accomplished while on break. I also had the chance to catch up on my social life. Like I have said before, as I am approaching my birthday I am realizing I drastically need to find a healthy balance between school, work and FUN. I can't be a nerd all of the time.

I was out and about 7 nights in a row and I can honestly I am fucking tired and broke! Between movies, restaurants, the Virgin Megastore, Starbucks, and alcohol I exhausted my entertainment funds for the next month. Luckily my birthday is approaching so I know I won't have to pay for shit that night, lol.

Although I spent the majority of my break having fun, I did reserve last Wednesday for something a little more studious. I spent the day shadowing Dr. Damer, one of the Infectious Disease Clinical Pharmacists, at Rush University Medical Center. I had such a great time. I mean, I was really excited to be able to follow her throughout a typical day. The experience definitely reconfirmed I have made the right career choice. I won't go into all of the boring details, but we spent the day going through patient charts, correlating lab values with drug therapies, checking (and finding) many drug errors (possible adverse reactions, inappropriate dosing/therapy), answering and making phone calls (the residents, nurses and attending physicians had LOTS of questions for Dr. Damer). By the time the morning was over I was tired from all of the running around we were doing. The afternoon allowed me to see even more things and ask more questions.

One thing I must say about Rush is that there were some major hotties there! Grrrr....I need to date a hot resident/physician. lol I kept making eye contact with one but I don't think he was gay. I think he was just wondering what the fuck I was looking at. lol

Saturday night was special because I finally got my lesbian friend from school to leave the safety of the burbs and venture into the city. We drank and ate WAY too much. Ok, I was the one doing most of the eating and drinking but that's besides the point.

And last, but not least, I leave you with a little beefaroni......Tatum Channing! I have wanted to blog about him ever since "Step Up" came out. I could never find a good picture of him though until one day when I randomly came across this pictorial collage. Holy shit, can we say bootylicious? I would love to get my hands on the full photoshoot for the semi-nude pics. Yum!

Thursday, March 01, 2007


I remember awhile back I wrote about how some people used to think my life was like an episode of "Queer As Folk". I wish it was that interesting but I must say that unfortunately the past week really has been like a bad episode of QAF. Yikes!

My last post sounded a bit dramatic but really it wasn't that bad. JQ and I will not be seeing eachother until further notice. The "friendship" we had agreed to maintain back in December just wasn't working out. He has alot of "stuff" going on right now and I tried to be supportive and understand why he couldn't be in a real relationship but I realized being friends just wasn't a good idea either. So things may have not worked out as I hoped but I think overall meeting him was a wonderful experience. Unfortunately timing is everything and I don't think this "wonderful experience" occured at the ideal time in either one of our lives. Maybe one day we can resume a friendship.

I am on vacation from school and work this week so I have gone out drinking almost everynight. This is also partly due to my eagerness to get myself back out in the dating world but I think I should dip my toes in the water first before jumping right in. I forgot how many mentally unstable freaks are out there. Jeez, I met this one guy and he was practically stalking me within a few hours. I mean, are 12 text messages really necessary in a period of less than 8 hours? I think it's borderline psychotic if you ask me.

Well I am curious to see how the rest of my week goes before classes resume next Monday.